Scorecard

Dear LeBron...

Dreams of coeds won't be dancing in LeBron's head. Manny Millan

Wish you were here. Sure, you'll get mad props in our parent mag. Not in these pages, though. This Sports Illustrated is strictly On Campus, as in College Park and College Station, Happy Valley and Death Valley, East Lansing and West (well, you get the...) Point. No corked bats or Kobe trial in this magazine, which will reach 72 campuses and 2.5 million readers each week throughout the school year. Instead, we're sticking to the best four (or five...or six) years of our readers' lives.

We know the 90 million reasons you had to skip college. But we can't think of a single one of them that trumps, in terms of life experience, camping out in Krzyzewskiville, tailgating in The Grove at Ole Miss, sailgating with the Volunteer Navy at Tennessee, gazing at the beautifully be-sweatered USC cheerleaders or running Michigan's Naked Mile. Try running a naked layup line at Gund Arena some night.

Oh, the places you won't go. We'll hear "LAX" and think of a Virginia-Syracuse tilt. You'll think, Tuesday night at the Clippers. We'll hear "World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party" and think of Florida and Georgia playing football. You'll think, Who knew Derrick Coleman's patio was so spacious? Quickly: Has Playboy ever done a "Hoochie Mamas of the NBA Central" spread? Didn't think so.

Consider your life four years from now. Had you gone to college you would have been B.M.O.C. for life, not to mention an infinitely richer person for the things you would have learned and the people you would have met. Instead, you'll have a working knowledge of VingCards.

We'll miss you, 'Bron.

Ask Milo: Fuzzy Math

Wish you were here?  Capital One recently named its All-America mascot team. Um, how the hell does that work? -- Henry, Harvard '04

Curious to see if swimsuits were part of the equation, Milo asked a Capital One rep. He was told that a five-member panel, which included the original Phillie Phanatic, judged applicants on sportsmanship, fan interaction, community service and originality. The top 12 scorers made the team. Ho hum. Were it up to Milo, he'd hold a karate tournament -- fitting, given the recent spate of mascot brawls. And Milo can tell you Georgia's Hairy Dawg, who once mollywhopped Georgia Tech's Buzz the Yellow Jacket, would be the beast to beat. Says Dawg: "I would be the first in line if y'all had that."

Got a question for Milo? Ask him anything at askmilo@sioc.timeinc.com

SI ON CAMPUS Sports Illustrated On Campus, a new magazine covering college sports and collegiate lifestyles, is available as an insert in 72 major college newspapers across the country every Thursday throughout the school year. Click any link below to see selected content from the inaugural issue: Scorecard: Dear LeBron: Here's what you're missing Road Trip: Penn State. Annals of School Spirit: Yell Practice at Texas A&M The Final: Freshman Disorientation Cover Story: Meet five athletes who are making over college sports

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