Foiled again

Anderson's annual retirement bid spoiled by Titans

If he ever hopes to retire from the NFL, Gary Anderson -- the league's all-time leading scorer and oldest player at 44 -- simply has to stop fly-fishing at a certain river in Aspen, Colo. At least in September.

For the second consecutive year, Anderson has been yanked back into the NFL by the pleas of a kicker-needy team that ignored the Gone Fishin' sign he hung on his door. This time it was Tennessee that beckoned him, to replace the injured Joe Nedney, who was lost for the season last Sunday when he tore ligaments in his non-kicking leg against Oakland. Last year, in Week 3, it was Minnesota that pulled him off a river and into uniform.

"You're going to love this story, but when the Titans called, I was in exactly the same place as last year when the Vikings called,'' said Anderson in a Thursday phone interview. "It's really unbelievable, but me and a couple of my buddies were fly-fishing on the Frying Pan River in Aspen.

"We were changing fishing spots on Monday mid-afternoon, and I checked my voice mail. My wife, Kay, and my attorney [Don Mark] were both trying to reach me because Tennessee had been trying to find me. I told my wife, 'Tell them I'm not interested.' But they kept calling and calling. Don went to [college at] Vandy, and he started giving me the sales pitch about how nice it was down there in Nashville. And the next thing I know, I was talking to [Titans general manager] Floyd Reese on the phone [Tuesday morning].''

When the Vikings opted to not re-sign Anderson this year, he had all but hung up his cleats after 21 seasons and 2,223 career points in the NFL. Seemingly, last season, when he made 18 of 23 field goals in 14 games for the Vikings, including a memorable game-winning 53-yarder against Miami, was his final burst of glory.

He had come to grips with that reality and was enjoying the freedom of not being tied to a football schedule. He is starting a couple of business ventures related to fly-fishing and had more time for his wife and two sons, Austin, 14, and Douglas, 12.

"The only reason I hadn't officially retired and filed the papers with the league was just in case some opportunity opened up that fascinated me enough to get my attention,'' Anderson said. "And this Tennessee situation has done that. I said it would take a very special organization and a very special opportunity to get me to come back. But this is it.''

Anderson said Reese went heavy on selling the Titans as a Super Bowl contender, and that more than anything, that line of persuasion worked. Though he has kicked in five conference championship games for three different teams (Pittsburgh, San Francisco and Minnesota), Anderson has never played in a Super Bowl.

"That was a huge part of it,'' Anderson said. "As I started to give it a little bit of thought, Floyd kept emphasizing that they're looking for someone with consistency, because they play a lot of low-scoring games where field goals are very important. The more I looked at it, I realized they really are a legitimate Super Bowl contender, so the pieces started to fit together.''

The Titans, who play a key AFC South game at Indianapolis on Sunday, do indeed live by the field goal. In head coach Jeff Fisher's tenure, from late 1994 on, Tennessee has played 40 games decided by three points or fewer.

Getting Anderson to Tennessee for a workout -- the Titans also tried out free-agent kickers Brett Conway and Neil Rackers this week -- proved to be the biggest challenge.

"They wanted me there that day, on Tuesday, and I told them that was going to be a little bit of a problem,'' Anderson said. "I told Floyd where I was, and that it would take a four-hour drive to get to Denver. From there I needed to fly home to Minneapolis and get my cleats and see Kay and the boys. I wound up making it home late on Tuesday, and then Tennessee had me set up to fly to Nashville first thing on Wednesday.

"It was a whirlwind 24 hours or so, but once I got there, they wanted to see the old guy kick.''

Another key to landing Anderson was the Titans' agreeing to his one prerequisite: allowing him to fly home to his family in Minneapolis every Sunday night after their game, without having to return to Nashville until Wednesday morning. For one more season, and only one, he said, that will have to pass as semi-retirement.

"I really feel like this is going to be it for me,'' Anderson said. "I don't think they're going to get me off any more fly-fishing streams next year. I've got a couple fantastic things developing in a fly-fishing business, and I'm almost ready to do that full-time. Everybody in my family is really fine with me hanging them up and almost encouraging me to hang them up.''

Next year, that is. Next year. For now, it's out of the Frying Pan and into the frying pan once more for Anderson.

Former Brown makes it all the way back from eye injury

It has been almost three years and nine months since the fateful day Orlando Brown's career as a Cleveland Brown effectively ended, but the Ravens' offensive tackle says that won't be the foremost thought in his head this week when Cleveland visits Baltimore.

"When I see the orange and white, the [incident] might run through my head, but it's not going to be anything serious that's going to throw me off my game plan,'' said Brown this week, reflecting on Dec. 19, 1999, when referee Jeff Triplette's thrown penalty flag hit him in his right eye, costing him both clear vision and three years out of the NFL.

"I kind of put my mindset, while I was hurt, to look out for the flag, the referees. [But] they don't really bother me. At first, I was like, 'Watch out for that flag,' but now it really doesn't bother me. I wear a visor now. I'm learning how to breathe with it. It really constricts a lot of air.''

Though a knee injury took some steam out of his comeback this preseason, the 6-foot-7, 360-pound Brown saw 50 snaps of action at right tackle last week at Pittsburgh, which happened to be twice what starter Ethan Brooks received. The two for the time being are in a rotation at right tackle, with Brooks getting the first and third quarters against the Steelers, and Brown the second and fourth.

Once completely healthy and in top condition, Brown is expected to easily win the first-team job, and he has to be the early favorite for the league's Comeback Player of the Year honor.

Though he has largely put the trauma of his injury behind him, Brown still insists Browns president Carmen Policy tried to get him to sign a waiver promising not to sue the league or the team while he was still hospitalized after the incident. Policy has denied doing so. Brown was suspended by the league for pushing Triplette to the ground in retaliation, and later the Washington, D.C., native sued the league over the referee's errant toss, settling out of court for millions.

"I was kind of [upset] how they did me, and I still am, but I can't get in a big trash-talking thing,'' Brown said. "I'm going to play with emotion. That's just me. But I'm not going to play out of rage, like trying to hurt guys and stuff like that. I'm just going to go play ball.''

Porter's not playing, but he still has some points to make

It was Jerry Porter versus Lance Schulters last week, and it's Joey Porter versus Ray Lewis this week. Frankly, I'm having a hard time keeping my trash-talking Porters straight.

In case you missed it, here are some of the highlights of the Porter-Lewis verbal skirmish, which broke out before Sunday's Ravens-Steelers game, despite Porter's being sidelined by a gunshot wound he received in Denver late last month:

Porter's signature move when he makes a big play is called the "Boot.'' It includes kicking his leg out in celebration. According to Porter, he was on the field Sunday before the game when Lewis walked over to him and mimicked the "Boot.''

"He did the Boot and said 'I don't care about this s---; this is my house,''' Porter said. "I take it as personal insult.''

Then Porter added, in Lewis' direction:

"'When you had your shoulder hurt, remember when I came over after the game and shook your hands? I didn't do your little dance when you were hurt or when you were going through your murder charge. All I did was wish the best for you. You're going to take a shot at me when I'm down? I could see if I sprained my ankle or something. But I got hurt worse than that. You don't take a shot at somebody who's down like that, not how I got hurt anyway.' I just lost all respect for him.

"I always said he was a good football player. Today, I put the spy camera on him. He didn't do s---; he had one tackle and he's missing all kinds of tackles. All he did was jump on the pile after someone else made a tackle, acting like he did it. He had one tackle today, maybe two, but he's jumping around like he had 30 tackles.''

Porter, it seems, was just warming up.

"I'm still recovering from a bullet wound and you're imitating me? Where's the character in that? ... I couldn't believe he took a shot at me like that. He went through some things. I didn't say it to him. I could have played with him being hurt and going through the life stuff he was going through. I could have said, 'Watch out, ref, he's got a knife!'''

Oh, and one more Porter-Lewis tidbit. Game-day sales were strong in Pittsburgh for a T-shirt that said on its front: "Where was Ray Lewis when Joey Porter got shot?''

Sapp has great expectorations when he dines in Philly

From the too-bizarre-to-make-up department comes this tidbit, as reported in Tuesday's Philadelphia Inquirer: It seems that Bucs defensive tackle Warren Sapp -- he of the ridiculously egocentric and sometimes paranoid worldview -- and six friends visited a well-known downtown Philly restaurant for a late lunch on Monday afternoon. Among the group was Portland Trail Blazer Rasheed Wallace.

The group ordered appetizers, and when they arrived, the waitress noticed that everyone traded plates. At a local steakhouse in January, just before the Bucs-Eagles NFC title game, Sapp reportedly fretted aloud that an Eagles fan in the kitchen might spit in his food. Outsmarting the working-stiff cook, Sapp switched plates then as well.

So when the server brought the group's entrees on Monday, she teasingly said: "Would you like me to switch them, or would you like to switch them after I leave?" jokingly adding she understood why Sapp might be worried.

That was it for Sapp. He reportedly glowered at the waitress -- and we have first-hand knowledge that he is a world-class glowerer -- and refused to eat. The waitress, embarrassed by the scene, disappeared to the kitchen in tears. Sapp took off for another area restaurant, proving that even guys who act like clowns on the field can take themselves far too seriously off it.

Pats or Eagles? Who's going to end their pointless trend?

The good folks at the Elias Sports Bureau burned a little candle wax for this one, so listen up: Sunday's Patriots at Eagles game features teams that were both shut out in Week 1. Big deal? It's the first time in 71 years that two NFL teams will face each other in their second game of the season after being shut out in their openers.

That little scenario hasn't fallen in line since Oct. 2, 1932 -- or just before FDR was elected for the first time -- when the Chicago Bears played the Staten Island Stapletons in game two, after each had been shut out the previous game. Note to the Pats and Eagles: The Bears and Stapletons didn't exactly get off the schneid that week, given their game ended in a 0-0 tie.

And we thought Dick Jauron was in trouble.

Betcha Bill Cowher's not surprised in the least

In his Chicago regular-season debut last week at San Francisco, Bears quarterback Kordell Stewart was a miserable 14-of-34 for 95 yards passing, with three interceptions and one touchdown.

But when you consider that his three picks were taken the other way for a total of 87 yards and a touchdown -- on returns of 68 and 13 yards by 49ers cornerback Ahmed Plummer and six yards by cornerback Jimmy Williams -- Stewart was responsible for a whopping net gain of eight yards passing.

That's why it'll be Rex Grossman-time as soon as the offensive line gets healthy enough to keep the rookie alive.

Detroit's offense finally cranks out some horsepower

So far so good with the Steve Mariucci era in Detroit. The Lions' 42 points against Arizona were their most since beating Chicago 55-20 at home on Thanksgiving Day 1997 -- a span of 86 games.

Detroit has gone through three head coaches (Bobby Ross, Gary Moeller and Marty Mornhinweg) and four starting quarterbacks (Scott Mitchell, Charlie Batch, Gus Frerotte and Mike McMahon) since then.

Don Banks covers pro football for SI.com.