By Clarissa Cruz and Arash Markazi
Don't know if Duke-bashing is still cool? Or if tailgates and Jessica Simpson are too old-school? In our periodic peek at campus trends, we've done the scouting for you
| FREE IPODS AT DUKE |
DUKE-BASHING |
| HOW CAN YOU still hate Duke when the school has put up thousands of dollars to lavish new iPods on its freshmen? Sure, it seems like an excessive indulgence, but we can think of bigger wastes of money, like that putrid football team. |
| PENNSYLVANIA AMISH |
L.A. EXHIBITIONISTS |
| PARIS, WE HARDLY knew ye! While we did enjoy wasting a day trying to download your video, it was not as exciting as the rumspringa-ing hotties on UPN's Amish in the City, who give new meaning to the phrase "Bible-thumpers." |
| ASHLEE SIMPSON |
JESSICA SIMPSON |
| WE THOUGHT WE'D love Jessica's stinky ass forever. But now that li'l sis Ashlee -- all goth like that with the black hair and Courtney Love-inspired fashion sense -- has up and hit No. 1 on the Billboard album chart, she's finally gone further (in at least one way) than Mrs. Lachey. |
| CAMPUS POKER |
CAMPUS BOOKIES |
| SAY GOODBYE TO Cheesesteak Tony and his threats of breaking your legs after the Gators fail to cover. Instead, become the next Chris Moneymaker and bluff your way to your friends' rent money. Don't forget the baseball cap and shades -- and Big & Rich's Save a Horse in the CD player. |
| THE MIKE WILLIAMS STORY |
THE MAURICE CLARETT STORY |
| MAURICE WHO? Clarett's saga is as tired as OutKast's Hey Ya! Williams won't play a down this fall, but his story -- prodigy promised NFL riches only to have it taken away by dastardly forces -- will get more pub than Britney's wedding. |
| POSTGAME PARTIES |
TAILGATE PARTIES |
| IF YOU'RE OLDER than 16 and younger than 30 and you're at a tailgate, do yourself a favor and run. The only people tailgating are RV-driving George Costanza clones who think that parking outside a stadium for 24 hours and eating brats until kickoff is fun. |
| TWEED |
JERSEY |
| UNLESS YOU'RE skinnier than Sarah Jessica Parker, those drapey, disco-era jersey-fabric blouses are just not flattering. (And you are not hiding the Freshman 15 from anyone!) Instead, don one of the darling tweedy Chanel jacket knockoffs. You'll have that cute English-lit TA eating out of your hand in no time. |
| OREGON CHEERLEADERS |
USC SONG GIRLS |
| EVERYTHING IS OVERHYPED in Hollywood, including USC's sweater-clad Song Girls. Truth is, Oregon's cheerleaders are as good as it gets -- not just in the Pac-10, but in the nation. Think Kate Bosworth look-alikes, 24 of them. |
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Issue date: September 9, 2004
