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HOUSTON -- The best thing about baseball's All-Star week is its spontaneity. Like in a Bob Knight postgame interview or an episode of Oz, you never quite know what may happen next -- and I'm not just talking about the big wet smooch Matthew Modine planted on Miss USA, Shandi Finnessey, during pregame intros at Sunday's Legends and Celebrity Softball Game. (Finnessey hit second in her team's order, between Fred Lynn and Will Clark. Naturally.)

An hour before last night's All-Star Game, former President Bush made an unannounced cameo in the National League clubhouse at Minute Maid Park, where he made his rounds while looking to make conversation with anyone around -- starting, rather awkwardly, with Armando Benitez and Edgar Renteria about lord knows what. During Bush's brief visit, Sean Casey and Moises Alou were the most enthused to meet Bush the Elder, but as Poppy strolled meekly past a cadre of players slouching on leather chairs with their eyes planted on the flatscreen TV in front of them, it was clear that to a few NLers, World Series of Poker promos are more compelling than the presence of a former president.

Another unexpected All-Star scene came Monday night, at MLB's Gala party at Houston's aquarium. It was past midnight, but getting a good night's rest seemed the last thing on Roger Clemens' mind. Clemens, due to make his much ballyhooed start the following day, joined the bash's main musical act, Clay Walker (a free SI mug to anyone who knows who this is), on stage, where Clemens and Curt Schilling, who looked as comfortable as John Kerry at an Avril Lavigne concert, sang the chorus to Sweet Home Alabama. Less than 24 hours later, Clemens' was knocked out of the game faster than you could say "Who the hell is Danny Kolb?" In the AL locker room after the game, Schilling said this about his late-night partying with the Rocket: "I'm sure that's not part of the usual Roger Clemens routine." Neither is giving up six runs in the first inning. ...

There was, believe it or not, actual news to come out of the three-day baseball bonanza. On Monday, Randy Johnson revealed that he would, if the right situation presented itself, accept a trade. "The only way that I would probably want to leave would be if I'm benefiting the Diamondbacks by leaving, and I think I'd be doing that because they wouldn't have to pay my salary, and it would go toward helping somewhere else and the players they got in return," he said to reporters after weeks of being pestered on the topic.

"There's no list of teams [to which he'd want to be traded]. Just teams that have a chance to win. That's the only way. So there. You got what you wanted, and I'm not going to talk about it anymore."

Naturally, 24 hours later, the subject was brought up again when a New Jersey newspaper writer, surrounded by a small group of reporters, jokingly said his paper had good real-estate listings for Johnson if he were traded to a New York team. Johnson snapped. "You guys think this is a joke," he said, very seriously. "Now I'm not going to go [to New York] because you guys are making a mockery of it. This is my livelihood." An angry Johnson admonished the writer, "Walk away now. Just walk away."

A few weeks ago in this space it was said that midseason trades are overrated, but a deal involving this five-time Cy Young winner could single-handedly shape a pennant race. One thing is clear: Arizona owner Jerry Colangelo and team GM Joe Garagiola Jr. will have to get a lot in return for their team's best player after failing to do so in their last prominent move. Last December they made a nine-player trade to get Richie Sexson while giving away, among others, Lyle Overbay, who now looks like a future star. That's why the Yankees, with a scarcity of standouts in their minor league system, are not necessarily the frontrunner in the sweepstakes. The Angels and Mets have the most attractive prospects they could dangle for the Unit. Also look for Boston to make a serious run to reunite Johnson and Schilling.

On Tuesday Tom Glavine and Mike Piazza both made their pitch to Johnson in the NL clubhouse about playing for the Mets. Piazza did his best to convince Johnson that life in Manhattan is great, even for a married guy with four kids. ...

With another All-Star Game come and gone, the two most compelling storylines to follow in the forthcoming weeks: 1) Randy Johnson's future, and 2) The immediate future of the Houston Astros.

The biggest boos during All-Star festivities weren't directed at Barry Bonds or Nick Lachey. No, it was hometown skipper Jimy Williams who was serenaded with the worst invective of the night during introductions. The Astros are, hands down, the biggest disappointment of the season, now that they are at .500, 10 1/2 games out of first in the NL Central. Nonetheless, it could be a mistake for GM Gerry Hunsicker to deal away CF Carlos Beltran, who he dealt for last month, and to effectively give up on a season that began with, in Hunsicker's words, the highest expectations the franchise has ever faced.

Beltran, Clemens, Jeff Kent, and Craig Biggio will all be free agents this fall, and Jeff Bagwell, Hunsicker has even admitted, can't be counted on for much beyond this season. It's a do-or-die year, and no matter what moves the Astros make from here until September, 2005 and '06 are going to be ugly rebuilding years in Houston. This season, the Astros are only 4 1/2 games out of a wild-card spot, and with their star-studded personnel, are fully capable of a big second-half run if offensive underachievers like Morgan Ensberg and Bagwell get their act together. ...

Is it just me or did the $1 million "Ring the Bell" promotion before the game seem a little easy? Next to a 45-yard field goal or half-court shot, tossing five baseballs in 30 seconds into a hole the size of Ruben Studdard's midsection doesn't seem all that impossible. Tom Gray of Houston, an Astros ticket-holder since the days of Mike Scott, netted the $1 million booty when he threw his fifth ball through the Taco Bell target with just a second left on the clock. ...

Fantasy tip of the week: pick up Indians reliever Bob Wickman now. He's recovered nicely from his elbow injury, and he'll be closing for Cleveland by August. ...

For you Reality TV geeks: All-Star week was a virtual who's who: Helping to fill out the team rosters at the Legends and Celebrities game were Apprentice winner Bill Rancic (how's that skyscraper project in Chicago going, Bill?), Lachey of Newlyweds fame, and Charlie Maher, a Bachelorette reject. ... American Idol's Fantasia Barrino busted out with a nice rendition of the national anthem last night, and 2003 Idol Studdard was solid with baseball's new seventh-inning fixture, God Bless America. ... At next year's All-Star Game in Detroit, The Blog demands that Frankie from the Real World bats in the 2-hole in the Legends and Celebrity Game, between Lou Whitaker and Cecil Fielder. Hey, it's All-Star week. Anything's game.