You've probably seen ads promising to train you for an exciting career in sports. You know, marketing, public relations, management, that sort of thing.

Sounds like a great deal ... until you consider the trials and tribulations of Padres general manager Kevin Towers.

In recent weeks Towers has had to deal with:

• David Wells going on the DL after a well-publicized encounter with a barstool in his home.

• A fan accusing Phil Nevin of making the fan's 8-year-old daughter cry during an epithet-laden exchange at a game in Philadelphia.

• Padres hitters griping about the spacious confines at shiny, new Petco Park, where the team is just 20-17 and batting .239.

• An earthquake, magnitude 5.2, at the aforementioned Petco that caused no damage but shook up more than a few players.

The capper came this week when the Padres suspended 18-year-old Matt Bush, the No. 1 overall draft pick whom they'd just signed for a $3.15 million signing bonus, after he was arrested during a fracas at a suburban Phoenix bar -- in which he allegedly bit a bouncer.

Yep, welcome to the wonderful world of sports management.

On to the rankings ...

MLB Power Rankings Rank LW Team 1 1 New York Yankees They also lead Forbes Magazine's Celebrity 100, with two of the list's four major leaguers -- Alex Rodriguez (32) and Derek Jeter (53). Angelina Jolie is No. 13. Not to question the list's validity or anything. 2 8 St. Louis Cardinals On June 11, Reggie Sanders hit his 11th home run of the season, hit his 11th double and stole his 11th base. Care to guess his uniform number? That's right ... 16. Spooky, huh? 3 16 Chicago Cubs After combining for 49 errors in 2003, third baseman Aramis Ramirez and second baseman Todd Walker have a total of six this season. Think the addition of 6-foot-5 Derrek Lee at first has anything to do with it? 4 5 Texas Rangers Kenny Rogers is the only starter left from the Opening Day rotation. He's also one of just two starters -- out of 11 -- they've used this season with a winning record. And he's a Scorpio. 5 4 Boston Red Sox Curt Schilling recently bought a racehorse, a 9-year-old gelding named Thunder Storm N. The horse has won 23 races over its career, although that hardly makes up for being a 9-year-old gelding. 6 17 San Francisco Giants Barry Bonds is willing to finish his career as a DH, but not in Fenway Park. "Boston is too racist for me," he told the Boston Globe. Is it uncharitable to note that Bonds has never played one game in The Hub? 7 13 Minnesota Twins Matt LeCroy is 3-for-3 as a pinch-hitter this season -- and all three hits have been home runs. No wonder some teammates are referring to him as "Matty Ramirez." 8 3 Anaheim Angels OK, you know about the injuries. But even more amazing is that their first basemen, after 287 at-bats, have the same number of home runs in 2004 as owner Arte Moreno -- zero. 9 10 Oakland Athletics Eric Chavez's broken hand is expected to keep him on the DL till after the All-Star break. "It's up to the bone," said trainer Larry Davis. "We have a schedule. The bone has a schedule." Don't you just hate medical jargon? 10 7 Florida Marlins Pitcher Carl Pavano is dating actress Alyssa Milano. As a rule, we regard hyphenated surnames as awkward and pretentious -- but if things get serious between these two, we're willing to make an exception. 11 2 Cincinnati Reds Cory Lidle wasn't impressed with umpire Matt Hollowell's strike zone in a recent 10-8 loss to the Indians that ultimately involved 343 pitches. "It was a dinner plate, not home plate," Lidle said. "There were no corners." 12 11 Los Angeles Dodgers Kobe Bryant and Jack Nicholson were in attendance for Sunday's game with the Yankees at Dodger Stadium. Both originally had other plans for June 20, but the Pistons canceled them. 13 15 Milwaukee Brewers Their recent World's Oldest Tailgate Party promotion focused on senior citizens. Said third base coach Rich Donnelly: "I sold four season tickets, booked three appearances, and I've got two Parcheesi games in Appleton." 14 6 Chicago White Sox Shingo Takatsu is apparently Japanese for "Who needs Billy Koch?" The Sox's new closer has thrown 24 consecutive scoreless innings en route to a 4-0 record, two saves and a 1.00 ERA. 15 9 Houston Astros They recently gave away 10,000 Russian nesting dolls bearing Jeff Kent's likeness. "You know what I would like?" asked Kent. "A deer target with my head on it. That would be cool. People could throw darts, shoot BBs, throw spitballs, spit wads, shoot it with a gun, shoot some arrows in it." Or, heck, just put it on a motorcycle and pop some wheelies. 16 14 Philadelphia Phillies Jim Thome hit his 400th career homer in the first inning on June 14, but because of a rain delay in the third, it took four hours or so to become official. He was probably wishing he had a Kent deer target to pass the time. 17 26 Tampa Bay Devil Rays Their 12-game winning streak had Lou Piniella warning fans -- get this -- not to become overconfident. "We're not out of the woods," he said. "That wolf is still huffing and puffing, he's just not breaking the door down." Yep, it's been one weird season. 18 18 New York Mets Art Howe can't feel good that GM Jim Duquette has fired the only two coaches Howe brought with him from Oakland, Denny Walling and Vern Ruhle. That five-game winning streak came just in the nick of time. 19 24 Cleveland Indians They are 13-1 in weekend home games this season. The Indians are 35-35 overall, so that makes them 22-34 in, uh, well, all the other ones. 20 12 San Diego Padres Even before his arrest and suspension, Matt Bush had upset some Padres by hogging the batting cage during a workout. "When you're in the first group of hitters in batting practice," said Brian Giles, "you're supposed to take six swings, not 12." Careful, Brian -- he bites. 21 19 Atlanta Braves This is the latest they've been under .500 since 1990, the year before they began their run of 12 straight division titles, but they think they're still in it. No only is their glass half full, but they're drinking some really good stuff. 22 23 Detroit Tigers Ivan Rodriguez leads the American League in hitting. Can you name the last catcher to win an AL batting crown? Well, no you can't, smart guy. It's never been done. 23 20 Baltimore Orioles How about broadcaster and Hall of Famer Jim Palmer calling out ineffective Sidney Ponson for being as fat as his three-year, $22.5 million contract? Careful, Jim -- he'll sit on you. 24 28 Seattle Mariners They're scoring 1.96 runs per nine innings for Freddy Garcia, the worst support in either league. Which explains why he won't be too heartbroken when the inevitable trade happens. 25 22 Toronto Blue Jays Montreal's loss could be Toronto's gain -- sort of. If the Expos do indeed leave after this season, the Jays are interested in buying the one-year-old artificial turf from Olympic Stadium. And they won't even have to figure the exchange rate. 26 29 Kansas City Royals There was so much speculation over where Carlos Beltran was headed that even Vegas got into the act. The BoDog Sportsbook and Casino made the Padres the early favorites, at odds of 1-1. There's a Pete Rose joke in there somewhere. 27 21 Pittsburgh Pirates Lloyd McClendon leads the majors with three suspensions already this season. Say what you want about the Bucs, but they're scrappy. Not good -- 3-18 in June -- but scrappy. 28 27 Arizona Diamondbacks What's the matter with BOB? Well, J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. recently bought Bank One, so a name change is in the future for Bank One Ballpark. We're guessing something like, say, Chase Park. 29 25 Colorado Rockies Despite their recent freefall, one guy GM Dan O'Dowd won't trade is Todd Helton, who's been described as the face of the team's future. "If I am the face," said Helton, "it's a pretty ugly face right now." 30 30 Montreal Expos How bad is it in Montreal? The other day Frank Robinson posted a blank lineup card on the clubhouse wall reading: "Anyone who really wants to play, write your name in the lineup." Only one player, utility man Jamey Carroll, volunteered.

Dan George is a Senior Producer for SI.com.