Despite winning a Super Bowl together, Keyshawn Johnson and Jon Gruden couldn't work out their differences. Andy Lyons/Getty Images

On behalf of NFL writers, we'd like to take this moment to make the following public service announcement: If you're a coach, player or front office executive who is feuding with Terrell Owens, just take a number and we'll get to you. Please be patient. We only have so many hours in the day, and only so much hype and hot air we can generate.

Which brings us to the happy fact that at long last it's Terrell Owens versus Baltimore Week. Which is not to be confused with Terrell Owens versus Jeff Garcia Week (last week), or Terrell Owens versus Steve Mariucci Week (Week 3), or even Terrell Owens vs. Randy Moss Week (Week 2). Personally, I'm holding out for Terrell Owens versus Bill O'Reilly.

Let's face it: Football feuds are fun, and they give us something to write and talk about for those six days between games. Which was enough time for God to create heaven and earth, even before they had bye weeks.

We could argue about it, but here are the five best running feuds in the National Feuding League:

1. TERRELL OWENS VS. OZZIE NEWSOME -- You were expecting T.O. versus Ray Lewis, weren't you? So were we, but that was before Owens slammed Newsome, Baltimore's respected general manager, for allegedly making a racially charged comment about Owens during the Ravens' failed courtship of him this spring.

In his new autobiography, Owens quoted Newsome as telling the receiver's agent "that sometimes a black man's gotta be slapped.'' But I'm here to tell you, even with Newsome moving around much better after off-season hip replacement surgery, I'd be a heck a lot more concerned with Lewis laying me out flat on a crossing route than any backhand Newsome could muster.

But on sheer timeliness, the Owens-Newsome undercard nudges slightly ahead of Owens-Lewis, which has been billed as the main event ever since the chatty receiver was sent from San Francisco to Philadelphia, via Baltimore, and ticked off the Ravens' All-World middle linebacker in the process.

2. KEYSHAWN JOHNSON VS. JON GRUDEN -- When it comes to feuding, these are not two first-time offenders. Before "Me-Shawn'' got his feelings hurt by Tampa Bay's head coach, he was taking shots at poor little Jets receiver Wayne Chrebet or making a cross locker-room enemy out of his equally loud-mouthed former teammate, Warren Sapp. But the showdown that really got him in the Feuding Hall of Fame was his spat last season with Gruden, which resulted in Johnson getting banished from Tampa Bay in November. With pay, we might add.

As for Gruden, he's an equal opportunity agitator. He and the Raiders organization seemed to be on the outs after he bolted the Bay Area for the Bucs in early 2002, and Johnson wasn't the only guy in Tampa who had a target on his back last year. Longtime Bucs general manager Rich McKay, who by all accounts is one of the more popular front office executives in the league, was next on Gruden's to-get list, and sure enough he resigned in mid-December to take the same job in Atlanta. We're pretty sure it wasn't coincidence.

3. RICKY WILLIAMS VS. THE MIAMI DOLPHINS -- In terms of blowing up a team's season days before training camp was set to open, Williams' pulled off perhaps the most complete screw job of all time perpetrated by one player. When news of his surprise retirement hit on July 24, the Dolphins went from a perennial 10-win team to a last-place punch line. You get the feeling Dave Wannstedt still doesn't know what hit him.

No matter how this messy saga ends, and we all know Williams has recovered his passion (wink, wink) for football, 2004 in Miami will be remembered as the year Ricky ran out on the Dolphins, and took the running game with him.

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4. OAKLAND OWNER AL DAVIS VS. NFL COMMISSIONER PAUL TAGLIABUE -- Staying current is all well and good, but sometimes it's the oldest vendettas that are rife with the most ill will, and this one dates to the 1980s when Davis used to sue the league three times a year and Tagliabue was the NFL's lead attorney. Davis sees Tagliabue as a stuffed shirt who knows nothing about the game, and Tagliabue barely conceals his contempt for Davis, the notorious bully and habitual league antagonist.

Know this: Tags took over as Commish in 1989, and not once in his tenure has he had to hand the shiny silver trophy to the old greaser who loves to wear black and white. That's a streak he'd like to keep going, which explains why he was wearing his lucky Bucs underwear beneath his suit and tie at the Super Bowl in San Diego a couple years back. Trust us on this one.

5. JOEY PORTER VS. RAY LEWIS -- This one is real. This one is angry. This one needs no hype. And when the Steelers and Ravens get together for their Dec. 26 rematch in Pittsburgh, you can expect something to boil over between these two Pro Bowl linebackers, on or off the field.

First, the background: In last year's season opener at Pittsburgh, Porter didn't play against Baltimore because he was recovering from a freak gunshot wound to the butt. But Porter was incensed on the sideline while watching Lewis imitate his trademark sack celebration -- called "The Boot,'' it entails kicking out one's right leg -- after stopping running back Amos Zereoue for no gain. Porter felt Lewis was mocking him and his injury and after the game went looking for the Ravens star near the Baltimore team bus.

This year, the feud enjoyed a new chapter in Week 2 when Porter bowled over Ravens tight end Todd Heap at the line of scrimmage on a play in which Baltimore was only trying to spike the ball and stop the clock. Heap had twisted his right ankle on the previous play, and was standing gingerly, defenseless when Porter shoved him backwards, worsening an injury that has kept Heap out for six weeks. Porter later said he hit Heap because he could have been faking an injury.

"It just shows what type of character that guy has,'' Lewis said of Porter. "When you take a cheap shot like that and just try to hurt somebody, it shows what type of spirit he really has.''

Don Banks covers pro football for SI.com.