Martina Navratilova, who won her Wimbledon opener, is the oldest player to win a singles match in 82 years. AP
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Welcome to Weblog Day 2. We promise: no gratuitous references to Pimp My Ride, Bill Clinton's new book, Mary Kate and Ashley, or Will Farrell's busy schedule. ...

We haven't quite caught NBA Expansion Draft fever, so let's talk a little tennis. Wimbledon kicked off yesterday, and the first-day headlines were hijacked by Martina Navratilova. A virtual stripling at age 47, Navratilova not only won her first match but also barely broke a sweat, humiliating the pitiable 24-year-old Catalina Castano of Columbia 6-0, 6-1 in 46 minutes. As a rule of thumb, when your age exceeds the number of minutes of the match, you've had a good day at the office.

This was one of those occasions that had everyone flipping through their media guides for perspective. Navratilova was the oldest player to win a singles match since 1922. Only a handful of players in the draw were alive when Navratilova made her debut in 1973. ("It was like playing my mom," lamented Castano.) Navratilova's last singles match at Wimbledon came in 1994. Perhaps most surreal: 23-year-old Martina Hingis, who has been retired for more than a year, provided the commentary for her namesake's match. ...

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The ogres will complain that when a 47-year-old returns after a 10-year hiatus and beats another player so handily, it indicts the quality of women's tennis. Think John McEnroe would win more than a handful of points if he returned tomorrow? For that matter, think Larry Bird (also 47) could take anyone to school in today's NBA? Fair point, but we'll take the half-full option and toast Navratilova and her ability to ward off time.

Yes, she is a superhuman athlete -- "from another planet," marveled Goran Ivanisevic, a mere pup at 32 -- but she is also devoted to fitness. She didn't just wake up, take her racket out of the mothballs and enter the draw. She has been a full-time doubles player since 2000, and it hasn't just been a publicity stunt or a novelty act. At an age when she would be well within her right to lounge poolside, she's been traveling the world, and, frankly, showing more devotion to improving than many players half her age. It's also worth noting that grass is uniquely well-tailored to Navratilova's game. She looked her age when she played singles on the power-blunting clay of Roland Garros a few weeks ago. Yesterday was like old times. She served and volleyed (kids, ask your parents what that means), headed net ward 40 times and navigated the surface like an experienced captain on the high seas. ...

Speaking of stirring comebacks, Ivanisevic -- who is playing in his final tournament -- gave an awfully nice accounting of himself at the All-England club. The 2001 champ has always been the Ron Artest of tennis: a temperamental, ultimately endearing character. (At least before Marat Safin's wires got all crossed.) Yesterday Ivanisevic knocked off Russia's Mikhail Youzhny, who, unlike Castano, is a credible player. Apart from cranking his lefty serve, Ivanisevic performed as only he can. (Remember, this is a player who attributed his improvement to watching Teletubbies and once had to default a match because he cracked all of the rackets in his quiver.) He wagged a disapproving finger at a ball when it didn't cross the net, kicked an errant serve into the stands, pretended to argue with the umpire before waving in jest. "I won my Wimbledon," Ivanisevic said afterward. "I just came here to say, 'Goodbye' and [to] have fun.'' Tennis needs more like him. ...

Came across this unbelievable story from Buffalo News the other day. As bad a rap as Marv Marinovich, Jim Pierce and other -- how to say it? -- hyperattentive sports parents have gotten, this might take the cake. Let's get this straight: Your son has suffered a subdural hematoma in his last fight, getting pummeled so badly there was bleeding on his brain in multiple locations. You'd think your paternal instincts would be to outfit him with a helmet and chain him to the couch. Instead, you're concealing medical evidence in hopes he'll step in the ring with Mike Tyson. Shouldn't you be subject to some medieval punishment? Like, say, having to get in the ring with Tyson yourself? ...

Just for the sake of starting a baseless, contractually implausible NBA rumor: Vince Carter to Phoenix for Shawn Marion. ...

True story: Uwe Blab, derided in this very space yesterday, was a camp counselor of yours truly. We realize that 15 or so years after Groovy Uwe's last game, mere mention of the guy's name still provokes giggles. But let the record state: You will not find a more equitable distributor of snacks to 12-year-old Indiana brats. ...

You've been great. Thanks for leaving your cell phones on vibrate. Take Roger Federer and the points. And enjoy Taj McDavid. ...

Sports Illustrated senior writer Jon Wertheim covers tennis for the magazine and is a regular contributor to SI.com.