Anyone predict two months ago that Brees would be the midseason MVP pick? Anyone? AP

It's the NFL midseason, and I've done a pretty good job the last couple of months pretending I don't cover the sport for Sports Illustrated. It's not that I'm ashamed. It's just that the first half of an NFL season exists for everyone but those looking for compelling athletic theater within the proper, the-season's-barely-half-over perspective.

The first nine weeks have existed for the fantasy-addled, gambling-inclined, couch-chained, channel-surfing, Sunday-worshipping NFL addicts among us. The games feel the same, sure -- but aren't you way too interested in how many rushes Domanick Davis is getting in Houston, or why Duce Staley is leaving the game with the Steelers on the goal line again? The first half of the season lets a few teams get a little separation, but is, more than ever, a forgiving time for most team's playoff chances (if not for your pocketbooks).

For instance, 20 teams at season's midpoint were either in first place in their division or just two games or less out of first. So nothing's really happened, other than that four-team parlay you hit in Week 4 and losing all three of your suicide pools by Week 2. (Chicago beating Green Bay at Lambeau? Who'da thunk it?)

Ah, but midseason does give me an important opportunity. It lets me hand out fake awards based on incomplete performances in too small a sample size of games to really know the degree to which our lucky winners are, in fact, deserving.

Thus, here come's the hardware ...

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Steelers. I told you, Godich. This kid's the realest deal of 'em all, even if Pittsburgh is protecting him with a 64-36 run-pass percentage, an absurdly skewed ratio in today's NFL.

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Jonathan Vilma, linebacker, Jets. New York is winning because of its greatly improved D. Why? Look no further than the speedy, savvy Miami product.

Offensive Player of the Year: Peyton Manning, QB, Colts. He and Vikings QB Daunte Culpepper were close, but Manning's 26 (!) TD passes and 2,429 yards through eight games are staggering.

Defensive Player of the Year: Marcus Stroud, DT, Jaguars. The voluble Stroud is a pocket-collapsing force for the surprising Jags, who ask their D to keep them in games long enough for Byron Leftwich to finish them.

Most Valuable Player: Drew Brees, QB, Chargers. Without a dominant LT, behind five new starting linemen, for a team that didn't want him, he's thrown 18 touchdowns and three picks for a surprising 6-3 Chargers team that leads the NFL in scoring. Unreal.

Most Valuable Coordinator (Offense): Charlie Weis, Patriots. It's shameful he's not a head coach, but after his wondrous game plan last week at St. Louis, he will be soon. Are you watching, Miami?

Most Valuable Coordinator (Defense): Dick LeBeau, Steelers. The D was supposed to be aging and shaky in the 'Burgh; instead, LeBeau's zone-blitzing monsters are the class of the league.

Head Coach of the Year: Bill Cowher, Steelers. The man's a motivational guru, and is pushing right button after right button, including the hiring of run-first offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt. With respect to Bill Belichick, this one's easy.

Team of the Year: Steelers. Beating each conference's last undefeated team in consecutive weeks -- by an average of three TDs -- is the half-season's singular accomplishment.

NFL'S TOP FIVE (OR SIX) TEAMS, BECAUSE I SAID SO

1. Pittsburgh (7-1): When I complimented Jerome Bettis two days before the opener for his magnanimity toward Duce Staley after Staley displaced Bettis as the 'Burgh's starter, the Bus told me: "They'll need me at some point. And when they do, I'll be ready." Thirty-three carries and 149 yards later, I'd have to agree, Jerome.

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2. New England (7-1): Easily the Patriots' most impressive win of the year, without their starting corners against a team at home that promised to throw it down their throats. Instead, Belichick, Crennel & Co. took it to Bulger (and, really, Martz), and the Rams never recovered.

3. Philadelphia (7-1): I almost dropped them to fourth but couldn't stand a second straight week of Phanatics cramming my mailbox. But know this: That run defense won't get you to February.

4. San Diego (6-3): Just go on the road and look halfway as dominant as you have of late, and I'm a believer. Drew Brees is the midseason MVP, the defense is ferocious -- especially against the run -- and LT has yet to ignite. Scary ...

5. Seattle (5-3): These guys confuse me, and the defense minus Grant Wistrom makes me wonder. But I'm willing to believe in Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander as long as they get that gettable win this week in St. Louis.

6. Indianapolis (5-3): Another flawed team, with an offense that's potentially mythic and a defense that couldn't stop a high school squad. Peyton has to be beside himself. What a potential waste.

DROPPED OUT: New York Jets (6-2): No Pennington, no ranking, men.

THREE SPORTING THOUGHTS (Terrell Owens edition)

1. OK, to the scores of you Philadelphians/South Jerseyites (and the stray NorCals) who took me to task for improperly portraying the T.O. deal: Owens' contention that he was a free agent before the 49ers trade with Baltimore was never a fact, a matter of record, etc., since the arbitrator never ruled in the case. That said, I will grant that, based on existing peripheral evidence, the settlement deal between SF, Baltimore and Philly appears to have been a face-saving measure allowing all three teams something from the deal. Kudos to the many of you who presented your case in a dignified manner.

2. But let's get one thing straight, people: I never, not ever, not once, ever -- defended, condoned, explained or backed up the past or present actions of Ray Lewis. I, too, have been astounded by the NFL's employment of Lewis as a league spokesman. I, too, have been amazed that his past did not disqualify him from such exposure. That said, in no way has the media decided to embrace Lewis; the NFL did that. When you see Lewis all over your TV screen, that's not the media -- and certainly not me -- supporting the league's business decisions. Last week's fiasco had nothing to do with Lewis (which was my point). So stop defending Owens' behavior by comparing it to Lewis'. That was never the point.

3. Owens needs to realize, regardless of what he was saying to McNabb last Sunday, he will be on camera most every second of every game he plays in for the rest of the foreseeable future. So if you want to exhort your quarterback -- and I do believe T.O. when he says that's all he was doing -- maybe you just walk up to him and whisper those sweet nothings next time, yes?

AND FINALLY

It's 2:08 a.m., and I'm tired after a long night at the Paris Review Revel (a great evening), and in a few hours I'll rise and fly to Seattle, where I'll sit down with stud tailback Shaun Alexander and find out what the deal is with my NFC Super Bowl pick (yes, Seattle, and I'm sticking with you guys ... until at least next week).

So until next Thursday ...