1. Host a hockey movie marathon. Slap Shot (and Slap Shot 2). Miracle. Youngblood. Mystery, Alaska. The Mighty Ducks (and D2 and D3). And, of course, don't forget MVP -- Most Valuable Primate. That should get you through at least one weekend.
2. Visit the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto. Then visit the U.S. Hockey Hall of Fame in Eveleth, Minn. It's three hours north of Minneapolis, but what do you care? You've got plenty of time.
3. The NCAA men's Frozen Four is set for April 7-9 in Columbus, Ohio. The women's title will be decided March 25-27 in Durham, N.H. It's as close as you're gonna get to watching a Stanley Cup celebration this season.
4. Catch a minor league game. The AHL has 28 teams. So does the ECHL. The CHL has 17 teams. It's not great hockey, but it's cheap. And the only time you'll hear the word "lockout" is when they cut off beer sales before the third period.
5.WrestleMania 21 is in April. For the NHL's top goons, this may be their only opportunity to throw a punch and get paid for it this year.
6. The 2005 spring show of the Sportscard and Memorabilia Expo in Toronto will start April 29. More than 900 tables, most devoted to hockey merchandise. It's like going to the Hall of Fame, except you can buy stuff (and it's still worthwhile to exchange your dollars into Canadian currency).
7. Learn to play hockey. The number of hockey camps and schools has increased the last 10 years, thanks in part to the NHL's bible-belt expansion. And if the NHL ever utilizes replacement players, you're there.
8. Start supporting field hockey. The U.S. national teams need all the help they can get. Neither the men's nor the women's team appeared in Athens.
9. Visit the Hockeytown Cafe in downtown Detroit. Named by AOL as the best hockey bar in this Original Six city, you know plenty of people will be drowning their sorrows. Become an instant hero by buying a round for the house. (Don't worry, you can use the money you saved on season tickets).
10. EA Sports' NHL 2005 video game. With the new Open Ice Control feature, it's probably better than the real thing anyway.