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Well, young man, you're lucky. It took me 30 years to find my seat with these cockeyed numbers.
-- Matt, Seattle

(Bartman, left, to his kids) "I know it took 32 years guys, but I told you one day I'd show you why we don't leave the house.
-- Michael Blair, South Bend, Ind.

Trying to fake their support, these three photoshop themselves into a shot of the last surviving person who was actually alive the last time the Cubs won a pennant.
-- Ross, Orangevale, Calif.

Steven Spielberg was highly disappointed in the turnout for the casting call of E.T. 2: E.T. Joins the Cubs.
-- Jesse, Houston

While family members cheer the Cubs on, Mikey continues his silent vigil to lure M.J. back to another Chicago pro team.
-- Pat, Lakeville, Minn.

I knew that those guys who sold me these 2004 Cubs playoff tickets looked a little fishy.
-- Jason, Hudsonville, Mich.

Cork smugglers wondering where Sammy went.
-- Bill, Springfield, Mo.

I knew this Steve Bartman bobblehead doll night would be a flop!
-- Nick, Sharon, Pa.

These Cubs fan are waiting for hell to freeze over!
-- Linda, Sacramento, Calif.

Well, I guess starting a wave is out of the question.
-- Robert, Defiance, Ohio

Son, by the time those shoes fit, maybe the NHL strike will be settled.
-- Hazz, Howell, N.J.

Even 50 years after "the incident," Cubs fans try to avoid Bartman and his family like the plague.
-- Lee, Grand Forks, N.D.

Timmy -- born without a torso -- sports his new pair of Jordan's at a Cubs game. -- Lee, Charlotte, N.C.

In an obviously unsuccessful early season promotion, the Cubs honored their oldest, fuzziest, meanest and shortest fans.
-- Paul, Westfield, N.J.

Although a courageous Steve Bartman has once again ventured into the 'ol ballyard, it's obvious that the past two years have taken their toll.
-- Mark, Surpise, Ariz.