From Raffy's declaration to Busch's tired wiener car

	Rafael Palmeiro AP

"I have never used steroids. Period."
  -- Rafael Palmeiro when testifying at a March 17 hearing on steroids. Less than two months later, Palmeiro tested positive for the anabolic steroid stanozolol and received a 10-day ban from baseball.

"I decided to cover all angles. I sent him chocolate-covered prunes and a box of Depends."
-- Clemson coach Tommy Bowden on wishing a happy birthday to his father, 76-year-old Florida State coach Bobby Bowden

"They claim to be first class and the best organization. It's an embarrassment. It just shows a lack of class they have."
  -- Terrell Owens, complaining that the Eagles did not publicly recognize his 100th career TD catch in an Oct. 23 home game against the Chargers. That and comments about the team's QB situation led to the Eagles suspending T.O.

"That kid grew up so far out in the country, he had to go toward town to hunt."
  -- Cowboys coach Bill Parcells on rookie defensive end Demarcus Ware, who's from Alabama

"I don't care if you found out that he has a jet engine in his anus. He's the best that's ever been. Leave it alone."
  -- Daily Show host Jon Stewart, coming to the defense of cyclist Lance Armstrong after a French newspaper reported that the Texan used illegal drugs in the first of his seven consecutive Tour de France victories

"So far, the hardest part has been trying to come up with something that rhymes with Urlacher."
  -- Country music star Tim McGraw, on reworking the lyrics to his hit I Like It, I Love It to coincide with the Monday Night Football halftime highlight reel

"Because there are no fours."
  -- NBA long-range gunner Antoine Walker when asked why he shoots so many threes

"There will be no more fighting in my house over what shoes my kids are going to wear."
  -- Tennis star Andre Agassi after switching his sneaker endorsement from Nike to Adidas. Agassi's wife Steffi Graf is a long-time Adidas wearer.

"You know why I like talking to corporate America? It looks good on a parole application."
  -- Golf broadcaster (and funnyman) David Feherty on his numerous corporate golf outings