1) A 16 seed upset a 1. We can dream, can't we?
2) Rick Neuheisel's bracket -- for recreational purposes only.
3) In lieu of No. 2, Jessica Simpson's bracket. Who cares that she doesn't know buffalo don't have wings? She had Georgia Tech (No. 3 seed) and Xavier (No. 7 seed) going deep last year.
4) Antiperspirant for Maryland coach Gary Williams.
5) The baby-faced smile of Alabama forward Chuck Davis.
6) Two words: Juli Boeheim.
7) A walk-on, playing only because of foul trouble, hit the game-winning shot.
8) Washington's 5'9" guard Nate Robinson dunk over Kentucky's 7'3" Shagari Alleyne.
9) Congress designate the first two days of the tournament as national holidays. Seriously, does anyone actually get work done?
10) Ashley Judd forming the "Y" in KENTUCKY.
11) The end of the ACC lovefest. Are you listening, Duke Vitale?
12) Announcers attempting to pronounce the names of Pacific studs Jasko Korajkic, Christian Maraker, Marko Mihailovic and Guillaume Yango.
13) A cap on CBS promos for its prime-time shows.
14) A tournament without hearing a CBS broadcaster scream, "The slipper still fits!"
15) Ten thousand and one commercials for Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous and Beauty Shop. O.K., we're not really excited about that.
16) A commentator inform us that Duke's Mistie Williams is the daughter of Chubby Checker and thus has a "Checker'd past."
17) Dickie V. yawn. C'mon, it could happen.
18) No more corny end-of-the-game calls from Jim Nantz.
19) When ESPN goes to a remote on Selection Sunday of the Penn Quakers' "study lounge," there's a dozen players ... studying.
20) "I'm sorry, Mr. Packer, do you have a media credential?"
21) Ernie Johnson, Charles Barkley and Kenny (the Jet) Smith do the studio show.
22) A graphic that shows each coach's blood pressure.
23) One Shining Moment.
24) UConn's Geno Auriemma and Tennessee's Pat Summitt kiss and make up at half-court.
25) UConn, we love you. Now clear out and let someone else play in the women's final.
26) You too, Tennessee.
27) School pep bands play the Killers' Mr. Brightside.
28) A halftime show featuring Ashlee Simpson. ... Gotcha!
29) SPORTS ILLUSTRATED'S Where's Waldo? collage cover of all 65 teams in the tournament. We're biased, of course.
30) The Louisiana Tech pep band, a.k.a. the Hoop Troop, the funniest band in the land.
31) Honorary degrees for Joe Lunardi and other hoops gurus who practice bracketology.
32) Bob Huggins's choice of attire and the waiting game that is "How long does it take him to become totally disheveled?"
33) A moratorium on the words Cinderella and Gonzaga in the same sentence.
34) An end to those signs heckling Oklahoma State guard JamesOn Curry (e.g. JAMESON PROBATION, JAMESON DRUGS).
35) Roy Williams tell a national audience he "doesn't give a s---." Again.
36) Stanford guard Chris Hernandez (a personal request from one smitten SIOC reporter).
37) Palming, traveling and offensive-charge rules enforced. Impossible, we know.
38) Retiring Purdue coach Gene Keady's phone number show up on Paris Hilton's Sidekick.
39) All players on one team walk onto the court rocking Reebok Pumps, circa 1991.
40) Wisconsin senior forward Mike Wilkinson's fiancée, Alexis Schrubbe, sing the national anthem before every one of the Badgers' games.
41) A return to dome-free Final Fours.
42) A timeout- and foul-free final minute in a close game.
43) A mandatory every-guy-must-play rule. Nobody, not even the scrubbiest scrub, deserves to get to the Big Dance and be a wallflower all game.
44) An at-large bid for Temple so that coach John Chaney can whisper "Mo Cuishle" to each player before sending him into the game.
45) The coach of a No. 16 seed, with his team down 30 at halftime, give a John Belushi-esque "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?" speech.
46) In lieu of the possession arrow, possession of the ball determined by a dance-off in the center court circle, a la Dance 360.
47) Someone with a perfect, 63-for-63 bracket (odds: 1 in 9,223,372,036,854,744,000).
48) Oz Fest: 7'1" Australian center Luke Schenscher of Georgia Tech versus 7-foot Australian center Andrew Bogut of Utah.
49) Duke's J.J. Redick versus Arizona's Salim Stoudamire, to prove once and for all who's the better three-point bomber.
50) North Carolina versus Kansas, just to see the former coach face his former players.
51) Kansas versus Illinois. See No. 50.
52) Illinois versus Southern Illinois. See No. 50.
53) Final Four undercard: St. Joe's coach Phil Martelli versus CBS's Billy Packer. Let's get ready to rumble!
54) A John Wooden sighting.
55) Oklahoma coach Kelvin Sampson keep his jacket on for an entire game. Just one.
56) Students sit in the first 10 rows ...
57) ... behind the opposing team's bench.
58) No more titles for Boston teams. Share the love!
59) Kansas State's Kendra Wecker, who's in the top 25 in both scoring and rebounding.
60) Everyone exude as much joy on the court as LSU's Seimone Augustus.
61) A Brad and Jen reunion.
62) A Motley Crüe breakup.
63) A final featuring the two best teams: Illinois and North Carolina.
64) Did we mention Juli Boeheim?
65) No need to write No. 65. It's obvious: No play-in game!
Issue date: March 10, 2005