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Hollywood's Best Fraternities

Posted: Thursday September 22, 2005 11:05AM; Updated: Thursday September 22, 2005 5:38PM
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By Andy Gray

At the beginning of Revenge of the Nerds, Betty Childs tells Louis Skolnick, "choosing the right fraternal organization can be one of the most difficult decisions in a man's life." Truer words have never been spoken. Well before freshmen get on campus their visions of fraternity life have been shaped by TV and the movies.

And while they are not always completely accurate these images are in the back of people's minds when they pledge, hoping their experience will be similar to the one on the screen. Herewith, the five best TV and movie frats of all-time.

5) The Pit (PCU)

The Good: Droz, the original Ari Gold, was in his eighth year of college and had a solution for any problem. As George Clinton can attest, they know how to party. And they had Katy, who had a six-year run as best female character in a college movie until Amy Smart came along in Road Trip.

The Bad: They were victims of circumstance; a bunch of guys stuck at a bad school full of "causeheads." President Garcia-Thompson and her sidekick, Rand (played by the always annoying David Spade), were on a personal mission to get them booted off campus. And Droz shouldn't have to struggle so hard to find a woman, especially the 35-year-old "college student" he spent the whole movie pursuing.

Verdict: Two stars. Would've scored higher, but the constant smell of stale beer and puke knocked it down a couple slots.

4) Melon's Tall & Fat (Back to School)

The Good: They were the most financially secure group on the list thanks to the pledge Thorton Melon (Rodney Dangerfield), who owned the clothing store Melon's Tall and Fat. Their living accomodations, three separate dorm rooms remodeled into one huge Cribs-style suite, was the nicest of anyone else on the list. And if things ever get violent, there's Lou the Bodyguard, who once put a man's head through a jukebox. Enough said.

The Bad: After Thornton Melon and Lou, the cast goes downhill quickly. Jason Melon seems like the kind of guy who wears a lot of black and listens to Korn. At least he knows it, as he tells his father, "I have one friend, Derrick. He has no friends." The Derrick he's referring to is Derrick Lutz, a strange, socially non-adjusted freak played by Robert Downey Jr., a strange, socially non-adjusted freak himself.

Verdict: Two and a half stars.  When the two coolest guys in your frat are over 50, that's generally not a good sign. Points were also subtracted for the Jason Melon/Valerie Desmond relationship, the most unlikely movie romance since Christie Brinkley and Chevy Chase in Vacation.

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