Wisconsin students are willing and ready to entertain to you. What are you waiting for?

AFTER 2 A.M.: Crowds congregate mid--State Street (the main promenade) for a so-called "Bar-Mitzvah" (i.e. post-bar regrouping), then disperse to the likes of Ian's Pizza, where abnormalities like mac 'n' cheese pizza are dished out far past 3 a.m.

MUST-EAT: Tie: State Street Brats for ... brats, of course. White brats, red brats, brat burgers! And the Nitty Gritty for its Gritty sauce, a burger condiment worth sipping from a chalice.

DOSE OF CULTURE: "Saturday" means "Farmer's Market" at the state capitol on warmer, non-football days. The majestic Orpheum Theater hosts indie pics and the Madison Movie Festival in March.

RULE #57: Football games go five quarters, not four. After regulation, fanatics stick around to rejoice with the band.

MUSIC MUST-STOP: The Madison Blues Fest spans two days in September. The Annex, Orpheum and Luther's Blues all draw B-list acts.

GETTING AROUND: State Street serves as a main artery and drinking/eating/shopping haven. Red (for Badgers) bikes and U-locks can be checked out for --essentially-- no fee, just a nominal deposit at the Budget Bicycle Center.

TICKETMASTER: Scour the message boards at Ogg Hall and the adjacent Pop's Club cafeteria for often affordable scalping.

ONLY AT WISCONSIN: Beer gardens: Outdoor grill-n-guzzle affairs, generally alongside a bar, and most often practiced on football game days.

PREGAME: Two-story beer funneling is inescapable along Dayton Street.

MARK YOUR CALENDAR: Halloween, Oct. 31, is not to be missed in Madison.

PACK YOUR: Windbreaker. Located on the isthmus between Lakes Mendota and Monona, the campus is a virtual wind tunnel by the time the football season wraps up.

RITE OF PASSAGE: At graduation, seniors are supposed to whisper their career goals into the welcoming ear of an Abraham Lincoln statue atop Bascom Hill. Booooring. More fun can be had sledding down the treacherous Bascom slope after a snowfall.

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