By Jon Pickstone and Ben Franklin, Special to SI.com

News: The Conquest of Europe

As all junior-high history students know, the home team went on to win the Battle of Britain. But in a distinct turnaround of events from the 1940s, Manchester will play host to the Austrian army on Saturday, with England in desperate need of a victory to qualify for the 2006 World Cup in Germany. A victory over Austria and then Poland (Wednesday, also in Manchester) will assure England a berth. Anything less may force the team to qualify through a tough playoff match against a second-placed team from another European qualifying group.

As Admiral Nelson correctly said, "England expects," and with a team of big guns at his disposal, these games really do represent a D-Day for national coach Sven-Goran Eriksson. Anything less than an automatic place in the World Cup will see him with less work on his hands than the casting director for the English roles in Saving Private Ryan.

Drinking large steins of beer while watching soccer sure beats "brown paper packages tied up with string" in the list of Team Limey's favorite things, and for us, qualification will be The Sound of Music to our ears. We're hoping that Sven's classic 4-4-2 formation allows strikers Michael Owen and Peter Crouch to beat Austria's offside Von Trapp. Failing that, we'd be up for sticking Sven's head in an edelweiss down in the dungeons of Castle Limey.

Education

It is with regret that we announce the resignation of revered scholar Arthur Fonzarelli, who this morning handed his tweed jacket back to Team Limey in order to concentrate on British car ads. Fear not, though as we've recruited Principal Feeney, a man desperate for a break from standing at his garden fence, and teaching his next-door neighbors.

Since the Limey's inception, we've had many requests for an explanation of England's two domestic knock-out cup competitions: the FA (Football Association) Cup, and the Carling (an English beer) Cup. Don't expect it to be called the Carling Cup for long though, as the company is the latest in a long line of outfits to gain the commercial naming rights. Look out for it being called The Limey Cup soon, after we've splashed out the greenbacks earned from our Hollywood movie deal.

The major difference between the EPL and the FA or Carling Cups is that the Premiership is played in a league format, whereby all 20 clubs play each other twice, while the FA and Carling Cups are knock-out competitions that involve all 92 of England's professional football teams. Like the NFL playoffs, if you lose, you're out.

Dating from 1871, the FA Cup is much more prestigious than the Carling Cup (since 1961) and interestingly, amateur football teams as well as professional teams can enter. In fact, the FA Cup is the oldest and most famous domestic knock-out soccer competition in the world.

In the 1871-72 season, 15 teams entered the tournament. In the 2004-05 season, there were a record 660 entries. The competion begins in August with the first of six preliminary rounds for amateur teams. The successful clubs from the sixth preliminary round join low-rung professional teams from League One and League Two in the first of the six proper rounds of the competition. Then in the third round, teams from the Championship and the EPL join the fray. The four teams to emerge from these six rounds compete in the semifinals for a place in the final, held at London's famous Wembley Stadium, in May.

(For an explanation of the league structure, dust off Issue 2 of the Limey and hot-foot it to the Education section.)

There is no seeding system in the FA Cup, so the draw is completely random. That helps to create many a giant-killing opportunity for small-town clubs to beat big-city opponents. In some exceptional cases, amateur teams have ousted top-flight oppostion. This is all part of the famous "romance of the Cup." A recent example of a David-and-Goliath encounter was in 1992 when Wrexham -- a team which had finished at bottom of the third rung of English football the previous season -- beat Arsenal, then the defending champions.

Man Utd (11 wins) are the team with the most FA Cup successes, followed by north London's duo of Arsenal (10) and Tottenham (eight).

In both competitions, the winning team qualifies for the UEFA Cup. If the winners have also qualified for the European Champions League through the EPL, the losing finalist qualifies for the UEFA Cup in their place. If both finalists qualify for the Champions League, an extra UEFA Cup place is given on the basis of EPL position.

(An overview of the European football competitions can be found in the Education section of The Limey, Issue 3.)