This season's predictions -- take 'em to the bank

	Shootouts are a good thing. Trust us. Dave Sandford/Getty Images

You can discern a lot from that floating head photo atop this column. For example, you can see that I'm sporting a really bad haircut. But can you also tell I'm able to predict the future? Yeah, it's kind of a hidden talent, like accounting or kung fu, something that such a small picture could never reveal.

It's great at parties, and even better when you're trying to fill column space at the beginning of a season. But unlike all the other pundits who think there are too many variables to accurately predict what will happen this season, I've got it all figured out. Now I'm going to share it with you.

And when these things come true -- and they will -- please remember where you first read it ...

First coach to be fired: Mike Kitchen, Blues

Seeing Kitchen in this mess is like watching Tom Hanks in The Ladykillers. He's a good guy and you want him to do well, but there are so many gaping holes around him that you just know he's doomed.

First coaching casualty: Wayne Gretzky, Coyotes

Yes, I know: Wayne Gretzky hasn't failed at anything since hosting Saturday Night Live, but he's about to roll snake eyes.

He may be remembered as the greatest individual athlete in North American sporting history, but Gretzky is first and foremost a team player. If he comes to believe that his presence is hurting the Coyotes more than helping them, he'll immediately offer to step down.

I hate to bet against the Great One, but this situation looks like the sequel to Waikiki Hockey.

Most effective new rule: Shootout/Two-line Pass (tie)

I love a bone-jarring hit, fancy stick handling and the fine work of the ice girls, but the most exciting play in hockey remains the breakaway. Each of these rules will increase the likelihood of seeing several one-on-one showdowns every game, rather than once in a blue moon. Best things to happen to hockey since, well, the ice girls.

Least effective new rule: Restricting goalies from handling the puck in the corners

It took about a period of preseason play for the goalies this rule was supposed to handcuff -- guys like Marty Brodeur, Marty Turco and Rick DiPietro -- to figure out you simply had to skate north to meet an incoming puck instead of moving east/west and picking it up in the corner. Unless the powers that be start sneaking down and applying stick tape to the goalies' skate blades to slow them down, this bright idea will have to be revamped before next season to achieve the desired effect.

Most overrated element of the new NHL: The power play

Everyone's talking about how the ability to play either a man up or down will define a team's success in 2005-06. But the element that truly will define the game this year is speed. The reduction in interference will lead to an elevated pace that will leave some players floundering like Darryl Hannah at the end of Splash. The inability to keep up with that pace -- or more important, to think the game at that pace -- will lead to an increased number of turnovers. As a result, you'll see many more goals scored off of mental mistakes than with the extra man.

Say goodbye to: Your favorite goons

It's a fact: most enforcers skate like Ashlee Simpson dances. That won't cut it. Toughness will have to become a team attribute, rather than the sole responsibility of some fourth-liner trying to maintain a tenuous grip on NHL employment. That'll mean more Terry O'Reilly types -- players who can chip in 20 goals and flatten a nose -- and fewer players who spend their summers with Marvin Hagler.