I vaulted the Bucs 11 places because of the way they undressed Buffalo, which I still think is a darn good team. A fascinating contest is coming up, Atlanta at Bills, but, of course, it won't be so fascinating if Matt Schaub is quarterbacking the visitors.
For 55 minutes against the Cowboys they were in danger of dropping a few spots from their lowly 23rd position. For five minutes they achieved a five-spot raise. Skins fans, I know you're the most spirited of all the e-mailers, but please take all this into consideration before you draft your latest round of rips.
Yeah I know, the law of supply and demand, or maybe it's diminishing returns, or stationary bodies, mandates that I keep this team beneath the one that beat it. If I had any guts, I'd put Dallas higher than Washington, anyway, and face up to the cries of bloody murder I'd be hearing from Pennsylvania Ave.
Right corner Nathan Vasher is so good that he's put another good guy, Jerry Azumah, on the bench. As Lovie Smith says, "Nathan Vasher is the best we have at playing the football." But why is he speaking in dialect? Do I say, "I am the best we have in the journalism?"
Gently, gently, I know the victory at Lambeau was big, and five spots upwardly mobile is their reward. But before we hand them the medal for excellence, let's find out if they really beat the Packers, or some fugitives from The Longest Yard masquerading in the green and gold.
In Week 1, Fast Willie Parker gained 161 yards against them. In Week 2, slow Jamal Lewis gained nine in 10 carries. That number is not a misprint. The message here is that Fast Willie is so new on the scene that nobody's had time to get mad at him yet.
Five drives of 70 or more yards, four TD passes in the first 19 minutes, 30 first downs, a new 73-year-old club record of 583 yards of offense. This is a test, repeat, only a test. Guess which team Sunday -- Niners or Eagles? You may now return to your regular programming.
Sterling Sharpe did the game on TV. Hey, Al, was this guy on your payroll? All we heard was that the defense was playing better because of Randy Moss, and it looks like Randy is getting comfortable in this offense ... yes, there it is, the sign that he's comfortable. I thought I was listening to a Serta mattress commercial. Note to Sterling -- most people don't like Randy. Most people are rooting for him not to be comfortable.
Nothing arouses my anger more than a team I had picked to do great things, such as edge Pittsburgh for the division title, hitting the bottom of the bowl. I wish I could pick you lower, Raves, but we've got some real doozies down there in dumperville.
Five No.1 draftees are playing the skill positions on offense. Someone just handed me that note. Hey, what the hell do I care? I've got to answer all these folks yelling about how they beat the Packers, and look where I put Chicago, with the same record as Detroit, and blah blah blah. The answer, which is what I tell my poker playing friends when they start bitching about a hand they almost won: No One Cares.
Kurt Warner will always have good looking statistics because he knows how to read defenses and spread the ball around. But when the clock is ticking at the very end of the game, and you've got to spike the ball, you don't try to run a play. This just about cost them the game Sunday, and you won't find that in the stats.
Reggie White's number was retired. Brett Favre became the third player in history to pass for more than 50,000 yards. And to complete Sunday's trifecta, they lost at home to Cleveland, the worst NFL team (30-66) over the last six years.
Excuse me, but after two games I will never laugh at some people's dark horse Super Bowl team taking the pipe. It's happened to me too many times. Want to blame it all on Moss' departure? How about the fact that the Bengals put up 27 points and 337 yards by halftime?
Well now their offensive coordinator is gonzo, replaced by line coach Joe Pendry. How many sacks was it that they've given up in two games? Thirteen, I believe. That's a wrap, folks. You can go back to your dinners.