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Shaddup already

Broadcasters should remember the play's the thing

Posted: Friday October 7, 2005 1:29AM; Updated: Friday October 7, 2005 5:52PM
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Al Michaels, John Madden
The Doctor has a message for Al Michaels, John Madden and other NFL broadcasters: Save the interviews for after the game.
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OK, so I haven't watched the whole movie, Four Minutes, yet. I'll catch the rest of it later ... it's on the tape. But I got home just in time to see the ending, to make sure that Roger Bannister really did clock in at 3:59.4 and ESPN didn't manage to screw that up, too.

Do you like to watch a drama, accompanied by a never-ending crawl along the bottom of the screen? "Roger, it's raining ... maybe you'd better not run today." Randy McMichael signs a four-year contract with the Dolphins. Really makes it alive for you, doesn't it?

And then, of course, there was the matter of the stopwatches. All timers in the film hit the button with their thumb. A big gaffe. Take it from one who used to be a timer:you hit it with your index finger. Everyone knows that, except the people who put this film together.

"Only you ... only you would find something like that to bitch about," says the Flaming Redhead. That's right ... only you (Wasn't that a song?), I mean only me. Why is it so hard to get things right? OK, free me, please, from the land of high art, and return me to the people with whom I belong. My e-mailers. Deep breath, and away we go.

Let's get this E-mailer of the Week thing out of the way first. Step up, Rick of Louisville, Colo., and provide the lady in the uniform with your last name, and you'll collect your prize. Rick deplores the practice of TV announcers conducting interviews, or sometimes just conversation, over live action, often neglecting to describe the latter. He wants to do something about it. He wants me to do something about it. He has mobilized a squadron to invade the various venues and make sure this practice is stopped, and as soon as the quartermaster is able to outfit that stout chap asleep over there, we'll swing our group into action.

Rick, my friend, I keep writing it, and people like Al Michaels and John Madden of ABC just keep getting worse and worse. But I've swung one announcer over to our side. No kidding. Brent Jones, the former Niners' tight end. Doing the Jets-Jaguars game, he reminded his colleague, Gus Johnson, to hush up while the play was going on "because my friends in the media will get on us if we talk over live action." It's an approximate quote because I was so stunned that I couldn't gather myself together to record it word for word.

Yeah, I know, it was said with a sneer, and I might even have been the person he was aiming at, but gosh, he actually did respect the sanctity of the action on the field. Brent, old buddy, if you're within the sound of my voice, please let it be known that your action was deeply appreciated, never mind the tone in which it was said. I will not -- repeat not -- forget this when it comes time to do my end of season announcers' ratings column.

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