Upon its return, NHL chooses to patronize fans

	New rules are in place, but it won't take long for hockey to get back to its roots of clutching, grabbing and fighting. AP

I tuned into a preseason Devils-Rangers game the other night only to see the following phrase painted on each blue line: "Thank You, Fans."

Thank You, Fans?!?

Thank you for what? For coming back like lemmings? For taking the paddle Kevin Bacon style and saying, "Thank you, sir, may I have another?"

Well, I have a message for you, NHL. It begins with "BLEEP" and ends with "you."

Let me get one thing straight: I'm going to keep watching hockey because I like the sport, not because of anything the league is doing to bring me back because, frankly, it's just not enough. So what if there is a salary cap? All that means is that, like our precious NFL, I can look forward to each team being equally mediocre and painful to watch. If the NHL really wants to do something for fans, lower the average ticket price to something below the cost of a Chrysler.

And does this wonderful panacea of a cap take away the fun we all have laughing at the Rangers every year for failing to make the playoffs despite their obscenely bloated payroll? If it does, then bah humbug on you, NHL. The first time I see a game devolve into another high school wrestling match I'm flipping the channel, and the only neutral-zone traps I hear about better involve Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, not slow-skating teams sitting on a 1-0 lead five minutes into the first period.