Judging from the Devil Rays Web site, you'd never know Lou Piniella is this frustrated with his team. Elise Amendola

You can log on to some professional sports team Web sites and have no idea the team stinks. If you use the Internet instead of the box scores in your local newspaper to find information on your team, you might find it to be very misleading. Although the Tampa Bay Devil Rays are 23 games out of first place, their Web site has a giant banner across the top that reads, "Watch it happen!"

Unless by "Watch it happen" they mean "Watch Lou Piniella slowly die" this seems like false advertising. Watch what happen? Watch pitchers stink? Watch hitters make sure to keep the bases clean of footprints? Obviously the job of the team's Web site is to make a day at the ballpark seem like a wonderful idea. Why else would the Rays offer tickets behind homeplate -- in a place called "Kane's Club" -- for $250 apiece? Who the heck is Kane, and why would he allow such misery? If two hundred and fifty bucks to see the worst team in baseball is out of your price range, the Web site advertises $5 tickets at a place called "The Beach." Unless the beach in question is Daytona, I'll pass.

I clicked on the "Roster" link to learn about some of the Rays players. When I hit backup catcher Pete LaForest's name, I found a prominently displayed photo of 'ol Pete clutching his groin as a baseball bounced off his mask. That might be worth five dollars if they guaranteed I could see it live.

All of the team Web sites I visited had links for "Special Events." The Rays offer a postgame concert featuring such luminaries as ... Steven Curtis Chapman and Emcee Urban D. The name of the concert is "Raise The Roof." Hopefully they will indeed raise the roof at this concert so the players can crawl out!

I was inspired to write this column after reading what Rick Reilly (best in the business) had to say about the Arizona Cardinals and their futility. When I visited the Cards' Web site, I was greeted by the exclamation, "The Bird Is Back!" Huh? Big Bird? The California Condor? Certainly they can't mean the Cardinals, considering there are more than one of them. I can only assume that by "The Bird" the Web site is referring to the gesture most fans would be pointing at their television sets if the local broadcasts of Cardinals games weren't blacked out.