Posted: Monday October 10, 2005 9:42PM; Updated: Tuesday October 11, 2005 9:25AM
Lenny Dykstra's discussion of the stock market took precedence over a thrilling Texas Tech-Nebraska finish.
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4:42 p.m.: USC leads Arizona only 14-7. We switch over to ESPN, which is airing yet another promo featuring our departed SI compatriot, the exhaustively handsome Josh Elliott. "You know," I tell Beech, "Notre Dame is playing USC on the 17th anniversary of their upset of Miami. You know, the 31-30 game in '88? Can you say, 'Instant Classic Now'?"
Beech: "He still hasn't asked you to be on, has he?"
Me (dejectedly): "No."
4:51 p.m.: (Lord, I hope nobody actually double-checks the times on these.) Lou Holtz on ESPN says, "Some teams are getting better. Texas, Notre Dame are getting better. USC is not." I'll buy that.
4:57 p.m.: USC leads U of A, 21-14. Meanwhile, former Trojans captain and always colorful color analyst Petros Papadakis informs us viewers that "there's not a D-I player in college football who takes more than one week off every year."
Hey, Petros, USC is up only seven at the half against a team that a week ago was shut out by Cal. Is this the week of the year that the Trojans are taking off?
4:58 p.m.: Cool, Fonzie's on the USC sideline. My entire year would be made right now if the camera panned the U of A sideline and I spotted Spike. Like I'd recognize him, anyway.
5:03 p.m.: Beech and I look at one another to be sure we both heard it. Yup, we both heard it. One of the announcers on the Nebraska-Texas Tech game says, "When [Huskers QB] Zak Taylor has the ball, he's as dangerous as any passer in the country."
Granted, Nebraska has climbed back to make cut Texas Tech's lead to 27-21, but I'm not sure Zak Taylor belongs in the Matt Leinart/Drew Stanton/VinceYoung/Chris Leak/Brady Quinn/Sam Keller/Brian Brohm discussion just yet. Not to mention the guy on the other side of the field, Cody Hodges, whose team just happens to lead the nation in passing offense.
5:09 p.m.: "Queer Eye for the Wildcat Guy": I like the blue helmets, Arizona. Stick with 'em.
5:28 p.m.: Petros on trying to tackle the Trojans' LenDale White: "You slide off like he's land and you're water." Not bad. Reggie Bush may be the better back, but I bet 11 out of 10 defensive backs would rather see him running toward them with a head full o' steam than ol' 235-pound LenDale.
6:08 p.m.: Here's kilter and here's Purdue. They're nowhere close. The Boilermakers' wideouts drop too many passes (someone FedEx them a tennis ball machine and a carton of Penns) and the center just snapped the ball right past quarterback Brandon Kirsch while he was not looking.
6:22ish p.m.: "I gotta do a phone interview with Lenny Dykstra," Beech tells me.
"Does this mean I have to put my pants on?" I ask.
It's a joke! Geez, get over it.
6:59 p.m.: Beech is still on the line with "Nails" during the final few fantastic plays of Texas Tech-Nebraska. Poor Huskers! They're up 31-27 and the Red Raiders have the ball, first down on the Huskers' 12, when Le Kevin Smith intercepts Hodges. If you're snoring at home, that's the first time in 33 tries this season that Leach's Creachures have failed to score in the red zone.
Bu-u-u-u-t, before the play even ends, Smith coughs the ball back up to Tech. Four plays later, on 4th-and-2 from the 11, Hodges makes one of the great throws of this season, threading the needle to find Joel Filani for the game-winning TD. GameDay fans will recall that Filani was the wideout featured on the Texas Tech tennis ball piece earlier today.
Poor Beech. He missed the entire finish, but he has learned a lot about the stock market from a member of the 1986 New York Mets.
7:03 p.m.: Maybe only I care, but I saw three fields that had an "N" at midfield today: Northwestern's Ryan Field, Navy's All-Tel Stadium and Nebraska's Memorial Stadium. If you're in the end zone, the "N" looks like a "Z", which suggests snoozing. But all three games had what Alcoa would call "Fantastic Finishes". Like I said, I'm probably the only one who cares.