
Eight simple rules (changes)Posted: Friday May 6, 2005 1:23PM; Updated: Saturday May 7, 2005 10:25AM 5. One foot in bounds is a catch.
On this one, the colleges have it absolutely, unequivocally correct. (Anyone who saw then-Michigan State wideout Charles Rogers' late touchdown grab against Notre Dame in 2002 -- three defenders draped all over him, Rogers somehow rises above them all to make a catch as he's sailing out of the end zone, only to defy laws of physics and somehow, with one foot, reverse momentum mid-air and drag that puppy in-bounds for a miracle touchdown -- knows exactly what I'm talking about.) Those preening, dancing, Sharpie-wielding divas split wide are also the sport's most dazzling athletes; so why legislate their singular ability out of the game? It's called a catch because that's what's important -- the catch. Requiring a certain number of feet in bounds is arbitrary; in this instance, less is inarguably more. The fix: One foot in counts. And so, to the highlight reels we go ... 6. Force-outs are legal.The yang to No. 5's yin (and the product of innumerable in-season bull sessions with fellow SI NFL-er Mike Silver), this rule would again level the playing field for defensive backs whose jobs have grown increasingly difficult by the year. Just as a receiver's ability to catch the uncatchable (even with only one foot in play) should be rewarded, so should a pass defender's fundamental responsibility: denying the offense's advance through the air while staying in-bounds. If a receiver is forced to jump to make a catch near the sideline -- leaving himself vulnerable to a tackle that could force him entirely off the field -- then why penalize the defender for doing what he's supposed to? As it is now, a defender is asked to essentially not do his job on airborne, sideline catches, lest he two-hand-touch his way into a side judge's not-so-certain ruling in the wideout's favor. This rule has always bothered me, if only because it runs so counter to the the game's fundamentals. The fix: A legal tackle that forces a receiver out of bounds before he lands negates the catch -- regardless of where he would've landed sans contact. Because what might have happened didn't, legally and legitimately. 7. No fair catches.A favorite of my big boss, SI.com honcho Paul Fichtenbaum, it's a simple suggestion that will inject life into the game without drastically skewing its rhythms. I'm not advocating for the mandatory fielding of punts; if a return man doesn't feel up to the catch, or is less than certain about the wedge in front of him, he's free to let that sucker bounce. The fix: If he catches it, he's fair game (again, within reason). 8. No color-coded line-of-scrimmage marker on my TV.Enough already. And I am, by no means, opposed to the technological improvements that television has brought to our viewing experience. Remember how people squawked when FOX had the nerve to cloud our screen with the score/clock/down-and-distance box? Like the cellphone, e-mail and my DVR, I can't imagine life without it now. (How'd we ever make it?) To a lesser degree, I wasn't sure about the CGI first-down stripe ... for about two weeks, after which I'd given my heart to it. (Who hasn't screamed for a ballcarrier to just lean another foot toward the line, forgetting that the thing doesn't actually exist?) But with the line-of-scrimmage stripe, our screen looks increasingly like the drawing my niece made for uncle Josh ... when she was 2. The fix: Retire the stripe. The picture's Crayola-addled enough as it is ... And while I figure out what the hubbub regarding Abdul's alleged relationship with a former American Idol contestant is all about -- since her next harsh word for anybody will be her first -- I ask for your suggestions, for an all-Mailbagger version of the above list, coming to a computer screen near you. Until next week ...
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