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High fives all around

Tiger can golf, but he's terrible at slapping hands

Posted: Monday April 11, 2005 11:28AM; Updated: Monday April 11, 2005 12:38PM
Tiger Woods; Steve Williams
How can someone be so unbelievable at golf and so terrible at the high five?
Harry How/Getty Images

After successfully avoiding a terrifying urge to see Fever Pitch, I settled in to watch Tiger at the Masters (in HD!) while multi-tasking by simultaneously playing my 2009 Braves season on MVP Baseball's incredible Owner Mode. (Fever Pitch is my favorite sports book of all time, and I'm morbidly curious to see how they've screwed it up. If you haven't read the book, by the way, run out and buy it right now.)

Anyway, I'm still laughing about Tiger and his caddy's awkward double-high five after Tiger holed out that chip on the 16th. Didn't Tiger go to Stanford? Let's organize a sit-down between Tiger and Dusty Baker. How can someone be so unbelievable at golf and so terrible at the high five?

I've been thinking about golf a lot the last two weeks, ever since I wrote about my problems cracking the century mark. I asked for help, and you all inundated me with tips.

While most tips were practical, a few were about lifestyle choices. Reader JK in Port Saint Lucie, Fla., wrote, "I improved my game dramatically by not drinking until the fifth hole. I used to start drinking on the first hole and by the turn, I would be buzzin' pretty good. I have since started drinking on the fourth or fifth hole which helps me not fall apart towards the end. If you don't drink when you golf, that could be your problem as well."

Stephen in Santa Monica, Calif., added, "I did break 100 once (and only once in three years) -- in fact I scored 93. I was running on two hours of sleep and was so hung over, all I wanted to do was step up, hit the ball, get back in the cart, take a swig of water, close my eyes and wait to die. I don't know if it is a sustainable strategy, but at least it might get you a hall pass from your wife for a night of boozing with your buddies."


Several people suggested I put away the driver and the 4-iron and rely more on the shorter woods and irons in order to gain control. The thing is, those probably are the two best clubs in my bag. I hit those two well, with more control than any other long clubs I own. (In fact, I've never used my 3-iron because I like the four so much.)

Kevin Krawczyk suggested I imagine the green covered in water. John Barrett wanted me to focus on a single dimple behind the ball. Mark Mills instructed me to "watch women's golf; those chicks aren't strong, but they hit the ball great because they are fundamentally sound." My old basketball coach Terry Massar wrote in and told me to "grip it and rip it." Mike Legg urged me to think "it's in" before each putt. Many people told me to buy a lob wedge. Just as many told me not to. Andrew Dolan gave me a mantra: "Slow down and keep your head down."