What word will be on the front of Jason Kidd's jersey when the team moves to Brooklyn? Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

The announcement that the New Jersey Nets were moving to Brooklyn was similar to Jay Leno saying he was handing the reins of The Tonight Show to Conan O'Brien. If you hold your breath for either to happen, you'll be blue in the face 'til 2009. And while we know the name of Conan's next show, it's not too early to speculate on what Brooklyn's basketball team will be called.

I've heard rumors that "Nets" might survive the move. While that handle aligns nicely with the New York Mets and the New York Jets, and the PR guy is likely salivating at a "Meet the Nets" campaign, the reality is "The Brooklyn Nets" is a terrible choice. Also, if you've cruised Brooklyn recently, you know you'd be hard pressed to find any nets on the playground-court baskets. And doesn't "The Brooklyn Nets" sound like a dance squad? I'm hearing "ladies and gentleman, let me introduce your halftime entertainment -- The Brooklynettes.

Everyone knows there are certain attributes to look for when choosing a team name.

Historical Significance -- Good: Pittsburgh Steelers; Bad: Utah Jazz.

Originality -- Good: Baltimore Ravens; Bad: Carolina Panthers.

Mascot Considerations -- Good: New Jersey Devils; Bad: Miami Heat.

Bonus points for Alliteration (Seattle SuperSonics), Word Play (Buffalo Bills) and A Name Lacking Native American Connotations (Pittsburgh Penguins).

Double bonus points if Emilio Estevez starred in the movie (The Mighty Ducks).

Unfortunately, the perfect name for a Brooklyn team, The Brooklyn Cyclones, was recently nabbed by the Mets Class A affiliate that plays one derailed roller coaster away from the famous Cyclone on Coney Island. Brooklyn's choices are limited because animal names are virtually extinct, and the denizens know that the only living things that thrive in the borough are cockroaches, pigeons, eels, and rats (though the latter might garner support from those being domained eminently by Bruce Ratner).

Since the team will reside in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Prospect Heights, "The Prospectors" might endear the squad to the locals. I'd also volunteer "The Gentrificators," even if it's not a word. The Renaissance worked for Harlem, but there's no way to shorten it into a fun nickname. "The Hipsters" fits the neighborhood like a tight, black ironic T-shirt, but at this point, I don't think even hipsters like hipsters.

I considered "The Cosmos" -- short for Cosmopolitans -- but you can't be named for a Sex in the City gal-pal rallying cry. Also "The Cosmos" sounds like a WNBA team -- like Destiny or Self-Esteem -- a major no-no. I suspect minority owner Jay-Z might make a push for "The Rocafellas," which would certainly cement the team's street cred, though it might intimidate most luxury box owners. There've even been nostalgic cries to reclaim the Dodgers name, which sounds like more legal trouble than it's worth. Along the same lines, how about "The Bums" as in "dem bums"? Memorable, yet not likely.

How about "The Brooklyn Bridge?" Singular names are always fun because you get to listen to announcers bungle the verb conjugations. The Bridge offers ripe possibilities for newspaper headlines such as "Kidd Votes 'No' on Bridge Rebuilding" or a James Brown allusion such as "Celtics Take it to The Bridge".

What's in a name? Everything. Tap the name "Brewers" and fans across the country will be toasting your ingenuity and applauding your squad from afar. Pick "Blue Jackets" and everyone will assume you're a minor league hockey team. Choose carefully, Brooklyn. Luckily, you have a few years to decide.