Jason no longer has to think about what he might say to Congress. Al Bello/Getty Images

1. Fans of a South African rugby team called the Sharks had a rough night on Friday. First the Sharks lost to the Hurricanes. Then 16 fans were arrested for drunken driving. More than 40 were assessed for speeding, while four more were charged with drug possession. One fan had it even worse, as police say he drew a gun on an officer. The policeman returned fire, with a bullet going through the man's penis and coming out his buttocks. Prison must seem like a vacation after an arrest like that.

2. Former Marlins catcher Mike Redmond, who's now with the Twins, took batting practice while naked on numerous occasions two years ago to shake his Florida teammates out of hitting slumps. Well, he was nude except for the usual 12 pounds of body armor.

3. Baseball commissioner Bud Selig, who'll testify in Thursday's congressional hearing on steroids, says baseball has "a very powerful story to tell." So far, it looks like Selig will opt for Casey At The Bat.

4. Yankees slugger Jason Giambi has been excused from testifying because of his involvement in the ongoing BALCO criminal case. When reached for comment, Giambi apologized profusely out of habit.

5. A Wednesday federal court hearing in the BALCO case for Barry Bonds' trainer was postponed as the trainer, Greg Anderson, tries to work out a plea deal. Prosecutors have been unable to scare Anderson with threats of prison since he's used to being around large, lying men who constantly lift weights.

6. Oakland beat Alabama A&M 79-69 on Tuesday night in the NCAA play-in game and now faces No. 1 seed North Carolina on Friday. In order to compete physically with the Tar Heels, Oakland is trying to sign Bill Romanowski as a goon.

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7. NASCAR has suspended three crew chiefs for cheating during last weekend's race in Las Vegas. Fortunately, the American people should get the full story during the inevitable congressional investigation.

8. New Mighty Ducks owner Henry Samueli may seek the NHL's permission to rename the club, perhaps opting for the California Golden Seals. The Golden Seals were an NHL club from 1967-'76, back when the league actually played games.

9. The Cardinals and 49ers reportedly will meet on Oct. 2 in Mexico City after Arizona essentially agreed to give up a home game. The decision came after skinflint Cardinals owner Bill Bidwell realized labor costs are much cheaper south of the border.

10. Canucks winger Trevor Linden, president of the NHL players union, provided the voice for a green monster in Tuesday's episode of the Canadian animated series Being Ian. NHL owners, meanwhile, were howling about the monster's allegedly green eyes.

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