Ozzie Guillen's drive-thru orders sometimes sound like this: I want the !@#$% No. 1 value meal! And !@#$% super size it! Damian Strohmeyer/SI
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1. Rex Chapman says that University of Kentucky officials discouraged him from dating black women when he was a basketball star at the school during the late '80s. Instead, they kept trying to set him up with Ashley Judd.

2. The Plaza hotel in downtown Las Vegas has already set odds on every NFL game for the 2005 season. So far, though, the only significant action has come from Phil Mickelson.

3. White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen says that he doesn't like to play at Wrigley Field in part because of the cramped conditions surrounding the stadium. Last year, for instance, Guillen said that he had to park at a McDonald's for a Cubs-White Sox game. To add insult to injury, the drive-thru workers couldn't understand a word of Guillen's order besides the expletives.

4. The NCAA notified Ohio State on Monday of nine alleged rules violations, seven from men's basketball and one each from women's basketball and football. A recount was instantly demanded by Maurice Clarett.

5. Sixers forward Chris Webber denied a published report that he had told a friend that he "can't play with" Allen Iverson and wanted out of Philadelphia. The gimpy Webber insisted that he only said that he can't play, period.

6. So far, 86 underclassmen have applied for the NBA Draft. While the 10 Spot poked fun on Monday at Duke junior Shavlik Randolph, he's far from the biggest non-hooper in the draft. Consider Curtis Heroman of LSU. Not the LSU basketball team, mind you, but the intramural program. In an interesting story on USA Today's Web site by Glenn Guilbeau, my former colleague on the LSU beat, the 6-foot-3 Heroman insists this isn't a gag. At least Heroman knows he won't be drafted, but he hopes to turn somebody's head in a tryout or draft camp. Judging by his hoops pedigree, however, that doesn't seem likely. Heroman hasn't played on an organized team since he was a starting guard for University High in Baton Rouge in 2000-01, when his coach estimated that he averaged 6-8 ppg. But really, who should begrudge Heroman his dream of standing on a podium in a purple suit while shaking David Stern's hand?

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7. The U.S. Open will use blue tennis courts instead of green this year in an attempt to make balls easier to see for players and TV viewers. Here's a question: Why don't they just change the color of the balls?

8. A huge battle continues to brew over the world's most famous sporting team -- and we don't mean the Yankees. Buccaneers owner Malcolm Glazer, after months of trying, finally took complete control of Manchester United on Monday by increasing his stake in the team to 75 percent. Still, this fight isn't over by a long shot if United fans have anything to do with it. ManU faithful say they are mostly concerned that the debt Glazer is adding to finance the takeover will force him to raise prices and/or spend less on players. But the peculiar venom of the fans' antipathy does seem related to the fact that Glazer is a foreigner -- and an American at that. Last Thursday, about 50 ManU fans interrupted a JP Morgan reception in Manchester because the bank has helped finance Glazer's efforts, throwing wine glasses at guests and hitting at least one. Said a spokesperson for fan group Shareholders United, "This is just the start of what is going to be a very long and very ugly campaign." Masterpiece Theater, this isn't.

9. Attorneys representing several Florida horse racing, dog racing and jai-alai establishments are expected to file suit this week that the state legislature's inaction has robbed them of their constitutional right to install slot machines. The lawyers cite the Second Amendment's right to bear one-armed bandits.

10. A recent survey in China revealed that 40 percent of the country's children picked basketball as their favorite sport. The other 60 percent voted for whatever answer would keep them out of prison.