
Posted: Monday May 23, 2005 9:51AM; Updated: Monday May 23, 2005 2:51PM
1. Reader mail from Mike of Bloomington, Ill.: "If the NBA locks out its players, will there be a negative impact on the world gold market?" Excellent question, Mike. An NBA lockout likely wouldn't have a material effect on the price of gold unless it lasts well into next season. The more pressing concern is the expected explosion in the supply of mediocre rap records. 2. The Cubs have told right-hander Carlos Zambrano to send fewer e-mails to his brother because all the typing might be aggravating his sore pitching elbow. Zambrano's first reaction was to LOL until he realized, OTOH, the team might have a valid point and happily agreed. :-) 3. Though Ron Artest wasn't on the floor in the Pacers-Pistons series, Detroit players still saw more of the suspended Artest than they likely had hoped. According to the Detroit News, the Pistons' team bus was about to leave the parking lot at Indianapolis's Conseco Fieldhouse at around midnight last Thursday after the Pistons won Game 6 and the series. Then a dark Escalade screamed into the loading dock, nearly hitting several people. Out jumped Artest, who according to several Pistons was wearing a quite short pair of shorts and no shoes. Upon getting out, Artest tore off his T-shirt. But he never made a motion toward the Pistons' bus, where team security officials likely had their hearts beating out of their chests, and instead strolled into the building wearing just the short-shorts. Of course, this might not even count as strange behavior on the Artest scale. 4. WBO heavyweight champ Lamon Brewster knocked down Andrew Golota three times to earn a technical knockout in just 53 seconds on Saturday night. Brewster did his work so quickly that Golota didn't even have a chance to uncork a low blow. Still, we enjoyed this postfight quip by Brewster: "I was an F-16 and he was a B-52 Bomber. And I shot him down." Not to quibble, Lamon, but aren't those planes both American-made? Wouldn't that count as friendly fire? Perhaps Brewster should have called Golota a Mig, like the planes that Maverick splashed in Top Gun. 5. Vikings running back Onterrio Smith was reportedly suspended for a year for his third offense under the NFL's substance-abuse program, though the move is said to be unrelated to Smith being caught with The Original Whizzinator last month at an airport. But that probably didn't help him. 6. Ravens coach Brian Billick was scheduled to deliver the commencement address on Friday at the University of Maryland-Baltimore. The title of Billick's inspirational speech was, "How To Be Considered an Offensive Genius Despite Having a Lousy Offense." 7. The next battle in the drug war will not take place on a Washington D.C. softball field. According to Roll Call's Heard on the Hill column, the One Hitters of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) claim they've been trying to schedule the Office of National Drug Control Policy (the drug czars) for years. In fact, a game between the One Hitters and We Czar the Champions was scheduled for June 8. But the drug czar's office has removed the game from its schedule, saying that it won't be able to field enough players that day. Says NORML spokesman Nick Thimmesch, "Perhaps they were spooked by the notion of BYOB -- bring your own bong." Besides, NORML's squad annually leads the D.C. circuit in hits.
8. Afghan president Hamid Karzai hoped to throw out the first pitch of Saturday's Red Sox-Braves game during a visit to the United States, but the decision was nixed due to security concerns. The major snag was the view in some quarters that Karzai answers to the Yanks. 9. Boston companies Bain Capital Partners LLC and Game Plan LLC have reportedly increased their bid to buy the NHL to $4 billion, at least $500 million more than they offered in March. The potential new owners have some revolutionary ideas for the league, including having games played. 10. Unless you're a Spurs fan, it's hard not to root for the Suns to make the NBA Finals. The Suns' go-go style may not lead to ultimate postseason success, but it sure is fun to watch. On Friday night, I headed back into Manhattan from a Mets-Yanks Subway Series game in time to watch Steve Nash drill that game-tying 3-pointer against the Mavs in Game 6. The Suns didn't have enough to stay with the Spurs on Sunday, falling 121-114, but it's great to see 235 combined points scored in the playoffs. If the Spurs end up facing the Pistons, we'll have to get used to those 86-82 slugfests again. Who enjoys that besides fans of the winning team? Before you write in, that question is rhetorical.
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