Would Dennis Miller make jokes about O.J. Simpson to his face if the two came back for Monday Night Football's finale? Miller: Carlo Allegri; Simpson: Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images
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1. Frank Gifford and Dandy Don Meredith will be part of ABC's final Monday Night Football telecast on Monday. Shockingly, neither Dennis Miller nor O.J. Simpson were invited back.

2. Roger Clemens will open a sports-themed restaurant this spring in Houston. In a unique twist, potential patrons won't find out until 4 p.m. each day if dinner will be served that night.

3. The Naismith family is seeking $10 million for the sale of the original rules of basketball as drafted by Dr. James Naismith in 1891. Naismith not only invented the game but coached the University of Kansas until his job was swiped by Larry Brown.

4. USC quarterback Matt Leinart was briefly ruled ineligible because he appeared in an ESPN promotional segment on Dec. 3, but was cleared to play again on Tuesday. The NCAA explained that Leinart hadn't actually broken any rules; they just don't like that Stephen A. Smith show.

5. eBay update: Last week we mentioned a Tennessee Volunteer football fan who was selling his allegiance to the highest bidder. The story has taken some  dramatic turns since then. Though the auction drew some 130,000 hits and a high bid of $1,400, eBay pulled the item less than two hours before the deadline, citing violations of its rules. By then, though, the high bidder -- LSU fan and Lafayette, La., lawyer Mike Moity -- had been in touch with the soon-to-be-ex Vols fan, Steve Johnson. When Moity learned that Johnson wanted to spend the money on treatment for his autistic 6-year-old son, Moity insisted that he honor his bid despite eBay pulling the plug. Johnson didn't feel comfortable taking the money directly, so instead the two will use the cash to start a foundation to help defray the cost of medical treatment for autistic children. Moity is also flying Johnson and his son to Atlanta to watch LSU play Miami in the Peach Bowl on Dec. 30, complete with personalized LSU jerseys. Indeed, with his generosity, Moity might have picked up more than one new LSU fan.

6. The Marlins hired five new coaches on Wednesday to work under new manager Joe Girardi. The most important qualification, of course, was the ability to work dirt cheap.

7. No alcohol will be served at next Monday night's Jets-Patriots game in Giants Stadium. The lack of booze, combined with the likely frigid weather and the Jets' 3-11 record, has made the game a tough sell. Not even Mike Tice has been able to unload his seats.

8. Maybe the answer to the Knicks' woes this season lies across the Hudson River. While watching his son play a high school basketball game over the weekend, New Jersey's acting governor, Richard Codey, purchased a $1 raffle ticket. Codey's name was drawn, allowing him to attempt a halfcourt shot during intermission to win two tickets to a Nets game. Codey drained it, then dropped to a knee, pumped his fist, high-fived his wife and chest-bumped a player from Solomon Schecter High School. Of course, if Codey was on the Knicks, Larry Brown would likely have buried him on the bench the next night.

9. Bengals receiver Chad Johnson claims that he will use a live deer as part of his end-zone celebration if he scores this Saturday against the Bills. Unfortunately, that could draw a flag for illegal use of venison.

10. Reader submissions: Many took a well-deserved shot at Mike Tice. Our favorite is from Joe in Charlotte N.C.: "Vikings coach Mike Tice voiced his displeasure this week with season ticket-holders scalping their seats to Steelers fans. Evidently he was most upset because the glut on the market depressed prices for his own scalped-ticket sales." We also liked this one from Mark in Lithonia, Ga., which is best enjoyed when read aloud: "Braves fans are excited over the rumors that Falcons owner Arthur Blank might be interested in buying the baseball team. Such a purchase would mean that George Steinbrenner wouldn't be the only owner to hand his GM a Blank check."