I tell the story in my piece about how in Dungy's first team meeting, he goes to the front of the meeting room, looks out at the crowd of chattering players, looks out some more, waits a few seconds until finally it is perfectly quiet . "When you could hear a pin drop,'' I wrote, "Dungy announced softly, 'All right guys, let's get started.' The message was clear: I'm the coach and these meetings are on my terms. You'll learn best when only one person is speaking.''

Team president Bill Polian and Colts lineman Tarik Glenn both told me they'd never heard Tony Dungy raise his voice. He is a teacher, a communicator. And it does no good to yell when you're trying to teach and communicate.

When I talked to Dungy for a Father's Day column last year, he told me a lot about his regrets that he wasn't there more for his family. The words are eerie to read now, but it's not the time to be ghoulish and repeat them now. It's time to extend sympathy to him and his family for a terrible tragedy.

Having said that, we all need to understand how difficult it is to have a normal life working for an NFL team. Especially a successful NFL team. The competitiveness drives the intelligent to ignore most everything in their lives, except for the almighty football, for six months a year. It's wrong. But it's also not going to change. We always make light of a coach who sleeps on his couch rather than drive home and sleep in his own bed. We either make light of it, or we talk about what a badge of honor it is and how laudable it is that a guy is willing to work that hard and leave no stone unturned in order to try to win. No more. I'll never do it again. If I hear a guy is sleeping in the office four nights a week, I'll never say to him, "Boy, you're really working hard to get this thing turned around. Instead, I'll just think: Your poor family. How do they cope when you never come home at night? Don't you feel like you're screwing them?

Last week, Atlanta coach Jim Mora told Terry Bradshaw he watched Sponge Bob Square Pants with his kids and loved it. A person! A real live person as coach! If the death of James Dungy does one thing, I hope it sets off an alarm in the heads of the 540 or so NFL coaches, particularly the other 31 head coaches. I hope the alarm says: "Hey, most of you have families at home. Go home. Don't look at that end sweep for next week's foe the 36th time; you've already seen it 35 times. Go home. Be a person.'' I bet that's what Tony Dungy would want you to do.

The Fine Fifteen

1. Indianapolis (13-2). It'd be a good idea if the Colts play one good offensive half against Arizona on Sunday. It's been a while since they've been the Colts.

2. New England (9-5). Not to look ahead or anything, but that's a strange game next Sunday: Miami at New England. Assuming the Pats win tonight in the swamps of Jersey, a win over the Dolphins and a Cincinnati loss at Kansas City, which will be playing for something, means the Patriots would be the third seed and could avoid a trip to Indy on the divisional playoff weekend. 'Fins will be playing the game very hard, because Nick Saban will want to be over .500. With a wild-card game certain, playing for everything next week will mean New England won't have a player-resting buffer before the playoffs begin.

3. Seattle (13-2). Don't know what exactly that game meant against the Colts. It had a bit of third preseason game feel to it.

4. Denver (12-3). I wonder if Al Davis ever wishes he had given Mike Shanahan a better chance.

5. Pittsburgh (10-5). Against Chicago, Minnesota and Cleveland the last three weeks, the Steelers have allowed one touchdown and two field goals.

6. Cincinnati (11-4). Great, great playoff game likely for 1 p.m., Jan. 7, Paul Brown Stadium: Steelers at Bengals.

7. Chicago (11-4). Different team with Rex Grossman.

8. Giants (10-5) -- Tom Coughlin's done a good job with this team, obviously. But giving the ball to Tiki Barber 16 times on the ground and having Eli Manning throw it 41 times ... it wasn't one of Coughlin's finest coaching days.

9. San Diego (9-6). Don't ask me. Just don't ask me. I do not have the answers. I think the inconsistency here has something to do with the emotion the Chargers defense plays with. It was A-plus at Indy, B-plus at Kansas City. Still good, but not good enough to stop Larry Johnson.

10. Washington (9-6). Not sure how, but they're going to be a handful for someone, probably Tampa Bay, in the playoffs.

11. Tampa Bay (10-5). Chris Simms is 2-0 against Mike Vick this year. Interesting.

12. Carolina (10-5). Looks like the Panthers got robbed to me. In any case, what were you thinking, Steve Smith? What part of your brain says: "I think I'm going to grab this official around the waist?''

13. Jacksonville (11-4). David Garrard is proving that he should be a quarterback, a starting quarterback. And he's proving the Jags won't be hopeless in the playoffs without Byron Leftwich.

14. Kansas City (9-6). Don't ask me where to rank the Chiefs. I have no idea. This is as good a spot as any, I guess.

15. (tie) Dallas (9-6). Impressive stat line of the weekend: Julius Jones, 34 carries, 194 yards.

15. (tie) Miami (8-7). Invisible stat line of the weekend: Ricky Williams, 26 carries, 172 yards.

15. (tie) Atlanta (8-7). Tsk-tsk, Jim Mora.