Reggie Bush Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
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By TheBrushback.com

NEW ORLEANS--Reggie Bush may already be considered royalty in the NFL, but don"t tell that to the Saints veteran players, who are subjecting Bush to cruel hazing rituals just like any other rookie. Only instead of forcing him to dress in woman"s clothes or sing the USC fight song, the veterans have decided to stop shining Bush"s shoes for one whole week, just to show him who's boss.

"This is just our little way of saying 'Welcome to the NFL, rookie,"" said cornerback Fred Thomas. "I remember when I was a rookie, they made me parade around the locker room in women"s underwear and then stick my head in the toilet while they kicked me in the ass. This is kind of like that, only instead of putting his head in the toilet we"re going to stop shining his shoes for a week. Hopefully this will let him know that even though he"s better than the rest of us, he"s not going to be treated like that -- not for this week, anyway."

The veterans broke the news to Bush in hilarious fashion, by placing his unshined shoes on a stool in front of his locker with a note attached that read "On Vacation."

"Now that was funny," said receiver Donte Stallworth. "Talk about getting your comeuppance. The funniest thing was watching his reaction when he saw that note. We were all trying to pretend we were busy. Then he walks over, picks up the shoes, examines them, and reads the note. All of a sudden his nostrils start flaring ever so slightly, and everybody in the room just freezes. My heart skipped a beat. Time stood still. It seemed like forever, then finally, his face broke out in a grin, and everybody let out a hearty laugh. Whew. That was tense. Anyway, we put that little turd in his place."

Bush, ever the good sport, took the hazing in stride, and will endure an entire week without his teammates shining his shoes for him.

"Hey that"s the life of a rookie," he laughed. "People think it"s glamorous, but it"s not. I"m just another scrub like anybody else. We all have to endure this stuff during our first season. I"m just looking forward to next year when I"m a card-carrying veteran and I can get a little revenge. Heh, I"m not telling you anything, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Okay, I"ll give you a hint. I"m going to have all these losers cut."

Bush came into camp as the most highly-touted rookies in franchise history. He"s already been anointed the savior of the franchise as well as the city of New Orleans, but the Saints leadership is working hard to keep him grounded. "

"We"re trying to establish a balance where we treat Reggie with the appropriate amount of reverence and still make him feel like one of the guys," said coach Sean Payton, in his first year as coach of the Saints. " Personally I don"t appreciate this hazing business. It"s just cruel. People should be treated with the proper amount of dignity, no matter what their stature. Which reminds me, I have to go pick up Reggie's dry cleaning. I was supposed to do this an hour ago. He has a hard time concentrating if his underpants are wrinkly."

Next year at this time, Bush will have a full season under his belt and the coaching staff will have a clearer picture of what he brings to the team. If he somehow fails to live up to the hype, the coddling he"s experiencing this season will evaporate very quickly.

Coach Payton, like everyone else on the team, is hoping for the best.

"It"s going to be real interesting to see what Reggie brings to the table this year," he said. "If he"s as good a player as they say, all this coddling will be worthwhile. Personally I think he"s going to be great. Did you see him at USC? Amazing. All we need to do is get him the ball as often as possible and hope that someday our offensive line will be as good as theirs. Yea, I know it"s far fetched, but you never know. Anything can happen."

This story is not real. All names are made up, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. All quotes are fictional and any similarity to actual quotes is coincidental.

Dave Saraiva is the author of thebrushback.com. Click here to buy his book, The Brushback Report: All the Sports News That's Unfit to Print

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