The fizzlers and sizzlers of the week that was

By Matthew Waxman

Aside from seeing J.J. Redick sniffling and Adam Morrison wailing like a toddler who's just seen his ice cream cone topple, some other big names made some news last week.

Hot: Matt Leinart

LSU bouncing UT spared us from another jersey-over-button-down-shirt faux pas by Clemens. Photo by Bill Baptist/NBA

Last Wednesday, after being rebuffed in her attempts to hook up with former Colorado punt returner Jeremy Bloom, Paris Hilton bolted to another party where, according to Life & Style Weekly, she hung with Leinart. That's hot.

Not: Roger Clemens

In an effort to sell him on joining the Texas Rangers, team owner Tom Hicks invited Clemens to attend Opening Day where UT head coach Mack Brown will throw out the first pitch. Knowing that the college basketball national title game will be played the same day, Hicks offered to fly the Rocket to Indy if UT made it.

Hot: Booty Loop

An article in the April issue of GQ entitled "The Field Guide to American Women," rated the Queens College "Booty Loop," a three-mile bike path on the Charlotte campus, as one of the best places to score chicks. Other hot spots in the collegiate-friendly list were Memorial Union terrace at Wisconsin, the steps of the College of Arts and Sciences at BU, Georgia's Sanford Stadium, The Grove at Ole Miss, and The Diag at Michigan.

Not: John David Booty

Booty, the heir apparent to Matt Leinart at USC, probably won't have Paris Hilton banging on his dorm door after injuring his back during the Trojans' first spring workout last Tuesday. The injury may require surgery and cause Booty to miss the remainder of the spring season, though head coach and eternal optimist Pete Carroll remarked, ''It couldn't happen at a better time.''

Hot: Duke

In an interview with the New York Times, NBA MVP candidate Elton Brand said that "No fans can compare" to the Cameron Crazies. Brand also confessed that his ride was not quite Xhibitilicious, saying, "I don't have a system. I don't have rims, spinners or nothing, no Duke stuff."

Not: Georgetown

Florida's up-and-coming center Joakim Noah told the Washington Post that growing up, "Georgetown was my dream school" and "I remember calling them and asking them to recruit me, but they never did...We had a past relationship and they still didn't come and even give me a chance. I thought that was kinda messed up." Noah got the last laugh. Before tip-off of the Florida-Georgetown game on Friday, the Metrodome's PA announcer welcomed the Gators' opponent from "Georgia Tech."

Hot: Central State

In Dave Chappelle's rockumentary Block Party, the comedian spontaneously decides to bus the CSU marching band from Ohio to Brooklyn for a concert he is hosting. The band members end up performing "Jesus Walks" with Kanye West, and hang backstage and get life lessons from Wyclef.

Not: Middlebury College

Last week during The Big Finish on ESPN's Pardon the Interruption, Mike Wilbon gave props to Midd's men and women's hockey teams for winning their D-III national championships last week. Co-host Tony Kornheiser questioned if the accomplishment deserved a mention on the show before conceding that "Middlebury has a good theater program."