Barry's show turned out to be a little short on reality

	Barry Bonds should've pointed at the cameramen who filmed his "reality" show and told them to go away. AP

At 8:00 on Tuesday night, I cleared my schedule and sat down to watch an obnoxious blowhard who's completely divorced from reality spout nonsense for an hour on cable TV. And then when The O'Reilly Factor was over, I watched the premier of Barry Bonds' new show that I had TiVo'd.

As I settled in to watch, I couldn't decide what I was hoping to see. Did I want him to make a fool of himself? No, the ridiculous press conferences he's given over the past few years have taken care of that. Did I want to see him turn out to be a decent, kind human being? I may as well have wished for a polka-dotted unicorn. Besides, that would only make his tarnished legacy and tainted numbers even more upsetting. I suppose some remorse would have been nice. Maybe some appreciation or admission of what he's done to himself and to baseball. And considering the size of Barry's forehead these days, the show should've aired on Noggin.

The show's premise is pretty pointless. Get to know the real Barry? Unfortunately, we already know the real Barry: He's surly, he's standoffish, he's obnoxious, he's selfish and he contradicts himself so often that he makes Gary Sheffield and Manny Ramirez look thoughtful and decisive.

Just like Bud Selig, ESPN is making a big deal about Bonds a couple of years too late. If I want to watch a lame show that stars a guy who's old news, I'll watch Ryan Seacrest. But I took one for the team and wasted an hour of my life that I'll never get back. I would have been better off watching the Mets' new embarrassingly bad TV network, which was showing the ladies' finals of the figure skating World Junior Championships. Maybe the guy who green-lighted the Bonds show can give SNY's program director a ride to the unemployment office.

The show's format pretty much guaranteed there would be nothing new, groundbreaking or particularly interesting to see. It was more like an episode of VH1's Behind the Music: heavy on clips and interviews and very light on footage of Bonds's everyday life. I was half expecting Michael Ian Black to interrupt with some witty commentary on how Bonds used to love playing with his Etch-A-Sketch.