World Cup starts next week, but America doesn't care

	Landon Donovan is hardly a household name in the United States. Andy Lyons/Getty Images

When Bangladesh University of Engineering and Technology announced that final exams would be given June 3-29, hundreds of students stormed the vice chancellor's office in an attempt to have finals postponed for a month so they wouldn't coincide with the World Cup. And the Bangladesh soccer team isn't even in the tournament.

Dutch businesses can buy insurance policies that pay out for lost productivity due to employees calling in sick to watch the tournament. A fan in England bought insurance that will pay close to $2 million if he suffers "mental trauma" from the English team making an early exit. Yes, the fervor over the World Cup is hitting its crescendo all over the globe, and come next Friday the citizens of 31 nations will be glued to their TVs and their newspapers, wondering if maybe this is the year they win it all. But there are 32 teams in the tournament.

No matter how hard the fans in this country may try, Americans as a whole just don't care about the World Cup. Oh, we'd love an excuse to postpone our final exams or to miss a day or two of work, but not if it means we'd have to watch soccer. Nike is running millions of dollars in promotions, but it's not going to work. The only thing Nike can give away that will get us to watch the World Cup would be free tickets to other sporting events.

Wear a soccer jersey with your favorite player's name on it and you might as well be wearing one with your own name, because it's not like anyone you walk past is going to know the difference. Around the world, people name their children Beckham; in America, we're pretty sure that Beckham married one of the Spice Girls.

Every suburban kid in America is on a soccer team and we still don't care. High school kids with soccer letterman jackets will spend the month of June at beaches and malls, not even aware that entire nations are completely shut down while people refuse to leave their homes for fear they'll miss highlights on the news.