Posted: Wednesday December 27, 2006 4:39PM; Updated: Wednesday December 27, 2006 6:21PM
In a brutal sport like hockey, it helps to be a Savage like Brian of the Flyers.
Len Redkoles/Getty Images
Brian Cazeneuve will periodically answer questions from SI.com users in his mailbag.
For every Morris Titanic, Ernie Laforce, Brad Bombardir, John Harms, Rob Conn, Jim Boo, Ted Bulley, Brian Savage and Lloyd "Bomber" Gross who has ever laced up skates in the NHL,there are names that have inspired images of diplomacy, finesse and sportsmanship: Tom Noble, Jim Playfair, Chris Worthy, Gerard Gallant, Eddie Goodfellow, Buddy Boone, Paul Goodman, Brian Wiseman, Buddy O'Conner, Kelly Fairchild, Howie Meeker.
Some players are truly deserving of the Lady Byng Trophy on name alone: Laurie Boschman, Claire Alexander, Lynn Patrick, Lulu Denis, Patsy Callaghan, Tracy Pratt, Bunny Dame, Michel Petit, Dion Darling.
Hockey names can be windows into players' souls. It's a safe bet that Rich Parent had private skating lessons, Steve Passmore had 10 assists for every goal, Stephen Kraftcheck played the body well and Larry Trader was a born GM.
Hockey names can also tangle the tongue or eyes. Trying saying (or reading) Guillaume Latendresse or Antero Niittymaki three times fast. Consider the games between the Rangers and Devils several years ago that featured the following players: Randy Moller, Kirk Muller, Corey Millen, Kevin Miller and Brian Mullen. The broadcasters were fortunate that Mike Millar was with Toronto at the time.
It's worth noting that Turk Broda, Jason Holland, and Steve Finn are all Canadians. German Titov is Russian. Roman Hamrlik is a Czech and Paul Kariya is not Korean. Other notables in this respect: Dutch Gainor, Frenchy Lacroix, Parris Duffus, Brandon Lafrance, John English, Dallas Drake, Byron Baltimore, and Martin St. Louis.
Even those who don't know a Quackenbush from a Shoebottom can appreciate the novelty of Link Gaetz, who was missing at gametime. And speaking of gametime, here are a few rosters for your amusement:
Players for the ages
Bob Bourne, John Baby, Trevor Kidd, Andrew Ladd, Scott Young, Jimmy Mann, Manny Legace
True money players
Wayne Cashman, Adrian Aucoin, Steve Penney, Bernie Nicholls,.John Marks, Ching Johnson, Lude Check, Daren Banks, Pat Price, Danny Grant
(Represented by agent Rich Winter) Ray Sommer, Corey Spring, Dan McFall,Daniel Cleary, Don McCloud, Frank McCool, Harry Frost, Jim Storm, Sandy Snow, Jeff Friesen, Bob Froese
Dean Prentice, Kelly Miller, Mike Fidler, Bill Baker, Garth Butcher, Matt Cooke, Jerry Butler, David Cooper, Mark Hunter, Bob Mason, Bill Barber, Grant Marshall, John Miner, George Gardner,Wes Trainor, Tim Taylor, John Tanner, Bob Carpenter, Craig Fisher, Eric Brewer, Paul Ranger, Lou Nanne, Bob Copp
If you want a tasty team, you gotta start with a Kitchen.
Mike Kitchen, Steve Baker, Bun Cook, Hib Milks, Bill Butters, Bob Dill, Basil McRae, Glen Currie, Bob Berry, Don Cherry, Ron Plumb, Adam Oates, Jim Korn, Stephen Rice, Jimmy Franks, Bill Berger, Mark Lamb, Bill Beveridge, Carl Brewer, Bob Beers, Darcy Martini, Andre Champagne, Paul Coffey, Mark Eaton
Truly spiritual players
Christian Dube, Cory Cross, Church Russell, Mark Parrish, Ken Priestlay, Don Deacon, George Abbott, Dan Juden, Claude Provost, Ray Sheppard, Claude Noel, Nicholas Lent, Boyd Kane, Syd Abel, Angel Nikolov, Miroslav Satan, Norm Maracle, Rob Paradise
A team of landscapers
Brad Marsh, Eddie Bush, Mark Laforest, David Moss, Bob Brooke, Alec Woods, Jamie Rivers, Eddie Shore, Mike Sands, Brad Park
Most colorful names
(Home ice should be, of course, Philadelphia's old Spectrum) Red Green,John Blue, Brian Lavender, Rob Brown, Bill White, James Black, Alex Gray, Skip Teal