Now I'll get to the combination of real ripper plus one who says he is but really isn't. The real one, Rick of Boise, begins his opus with such a mass of hatred, combined with gobbledygook, that I had to fasten my seatbelt before I progressed farther than Sentence No. 1.  And here it is: "You're full of bolonga, or beluga, or whatever you fill your face with back there on the east coast." (Tonight it was chicken parmigiana.) And it goes on to point out how dumb I was to pick the Patriots over the rested and healthy Broncos, who went 8-0 at home. Rick, I hope you bet the house on the Broncs. I hope you bet your grog ration plus next month's allotment of shotgun shells, because you're going down, pal. Down, down to da sewer wit da yuck runnin' t'rou 'er. Sorry to be the one to break it to you.

Now the good guy in ripper's clothing, Craig of Doncaster, England: "I guess you could call me a ripper, but at least I'm going to have the dignity to be gentlemanly about it." Proceed, squire, please do. "There are a number of players I have in consideration for my all-pro team that didn't get a mention in your column." In short, why didn't I consider them? I really like questions like these. His roster:

P Ben Graham, Jets: If you listened to all the NYC hype about Ben, you'd think that the Aussie spin he put on the ball was so devastating that no one could return his punts. Actually, 52.9 percent of his non-end zone punts were returned, a figure only a little above average. Nine punters beat his gross average of 43.7 yards, and seven had better net averages.

FB Justin Griffin, Falcons: A good player, but only a part-timer because they'd go with two-tight ends or three wideouts a good bit of the time. Actually, I graded nobody at this position because my guy, Chris Cooley, the Washington H-Back, was so much better than the pack.

C Olin Kreutz, Bears: I've been watching him for eight years. Little and scrappy, but he has trouble with big guys. The Vikings' Pat Williams ate him alive.

OLB Ian Gold, Broncos: Started off very well this year, then tailed a bit. A space player, very active and so forth, but not as good as the guys I had.

RT Tom Ashworth, Patriots: Lost his job to Brandon Gorin late in the season, although he captured peoples' hearts by filling in as a goal line tight end and fullback.

Come in Mike H. from Wellington, New Zealand, do you read me, over? No, he doesn't read me because I'm speaking to a piece of paper with writing on it, which shows how much I'm slipping. One more word, before I get to his question. Can you exert any influence to get the Flaming Redhead and me citizenship papers, plus help in opening an account at the Bank of NZ? If they ask what I can do, tell them I can cover rugby and do a really snappy column about the great NZ wines. Last I heard, New Zealand is a country where they don't torture people, right?

The question: Why do highly touted quarterbacks such as David Carr and Joey Harrington struggle? Their fault, or the cast around them? There are just so many reasons. I guess the basic one is that the most mystifying position in the sport is QB. No one knows, for sure, how they'll turn out, if surrounded by stiffs. Troy Aikman had a terrible time of it his first season. So did Peyton Manning. And I thank you for the nice things you wrote.