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Behind the mock draft

The information and logic that led to my 32 picks

Posted: Wednesday April 26, 2006 4:50PM; Updated: Thursday April 27, 2006 12:04PM
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The Texans may talk themselves out of Reggie Bush, but he still appears like the logical choice at No. 1.
The Texans may talk themselves out of Reggie Bush, but he still appears like the logical choice at No. 1.
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What you'll get, in addition to my projected first round of the draft, is a lot of unnamed and unquoted sources, unless I mention otherwise, as I try to establish how I made my picks. No one wants to be quoted by name when talking about the draft.

I call the period in which I write this column Hell Week because what happens is that I go through a round of calls without getting anybody, since they're all in meetings, and then when they call you back, the whole thing is bunched together and you have to get in and get out quickly. So what I usually do is try to place my calls in different time zones, so as to stagger the return times, since they all usually take their break at the same hour.

And just as it always does, when I'm waiting for the keynote return call, the phone rings, and I cut someone else short, and it's that fruity, yahoo voice, "I want you to consider our family of insurance plans." And once again I lose it and direct him to some operations he can perform with various farm animals, despite the Redhead's warning that everything is taped and recorded now, and "in the interest of security," this kind of language will land me in the joint.

So here is my first round, and remember, I have to write it a week earlier than what the newspaper guys write, which puts me at an immediate disadvantage.

No. 1 TEXANS: I went with chalk, despite Peter King's warning that there are reasons that Bush, along with everybody else, is suspect and it's all so iffy that I'd be better off assigning no one at all to this spot. But I just can't face the idea of making myself crazy so early in the game, so it'll still be REGGIE BUSH, RB, USC.

No. 2 SAINTS: Everybody says it's Williams; the people I talked to on the club agree -- sort of, because instinctively any phone call will be answered with blather such as "we think that (fill in any one of the top six names) is a mighty fine player." And of course there still could be a leapfrog trade, with someone moving into this spot and then hopping up to No. 1 to get a keynote QB. But I'm giving the Saints MARIO WILLIAMS, DE, NORTH CAROLINA STATE, because at this writing I don't have positive news to the contrary, which would foul up my board and set up at least half a dozen more phone calls.

No. 3 TITANS: Floyd Reese, the GM, who didn't mind being quoted on general observations, said that Vince Young is "a rare talent." There, you heard it here first. And Matt Leinart is "much further along." And the decision's "gonna come right down to the wire." You now know exactly what everybody in the USA and parts of Europe know. I've been asking around about Young's mysterious Wonderlic test. A long time ago I heard that he scored a two, which would be close to the all-time lowest score on this 50-point IQ exam, and would qualify him to quarterback, oh, maybe a peewee team on the Gaspe Peninsula. No, it was a shocking inaccuracy, was the next thing I heard. On a retest he scored anywhere from 12 to 16. Then I heard that some hanky-panky was going on, and the threat of a lawsuit for releasing information that could be potentially damaging was in the air, and the rerun was rigged. This is a very murky area, but it could keep the young man out of the No. 3 spot, in which I say the Titans take MATT LEINART, QB, USC.

I have just started this game and already I don't like the way it's going. I'm not sure about anything. It's entirely either-or stuff, which you don't want at the top of the round. Callbacks will be coming in soon. I'm feeling the start of the headache. The phone rings. Ah, must be the Titans calling back to tell me their final choice. "I read your column and I want to know what kind of wine to have with steak," someone says. "California Syrah," I tell him. "Look, sorry but I've gotta go now..." And as I'm hanging up I hear him tell someone, "What an arrogant son of a ..."

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