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Posted: Wednesday November 1, 2006 11:26AM; Updated: Wednesday November 1, 2006 11:26AM
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NFL Power Rankings
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11 6 In Minneapolis they're showing films of the Patriots game as a new scenic attraction. It's called the Maul of America.
12 7 What, below the Giants, whom they destroyed not so long ago? Didn't I warn you this would happen? Two different teams then. Giants players were moaning that their coaches didn't know how to coach. Hawks had a healthy QB and runner. Things change: weather, seasons ... sexes.
13 11 Is it my imagination, or is Chad dropping a lot more balls this year? Or just when I pick them to win, which has been a lot lately?
14 17 Remember that game the Jags played against the Steelers, and everyone said, "Man, this is the way football is supposed to be played"? The Jags were kings of the he-men in those days, but in ensuing weeks they fell into some strange losses. Well, when they arrived in Philly last weekend, the wind was blowing the Eagles' high-flying attack to pieces, and it was time to roll back the clock to Sept. 18 and make it a low-scoring struggle. I know you can't wait for chapter two of this morality play, so keep yourselves occupied until the sign reads, "18) Eagles."
15 19 Before we think up new adjectives for Tony Romo, let's remember the lesson of Big Ben. Shockingly fast start, but everything was in place for him -- good defense, good running. Same holds true with Dallas. It's a formula for success for the kid, but it's a different show when he might have to carry an offense.
16 13 I think Sunday's K.C. game is built for a huge pile of yards for Larry Johnson. Here are a few reasons why: Tomlinson, Chargers, 183 yards. Gore, 49ers, 127 yards. T. Bell, Broncos, 103 yards. James, Cardinals, 94 yards (his high for the year). Morris, Seahawks, 74 yards (also his high). Jones, Lions, 93 yards (second high). Noah Herron, Packers, 106 yards (I mean, whaddya kidding?). Quite a rap sheet for the Rams defense, huh?
17 15 I watched the pass rush of this team that I picked to defeat the mighty Cowboys, and I saw no blitz pressure, very few stunts and twists from the four down linemen. All I saw was four guys chugging through the same tire tracks and getting more worn out as the game progressed. Big Kris Jenkins looked as if he would have paid big money to join the bench in progress and sit out a few dances. Finally Romo and the Cowboys offense simply had their way with this fatigue-locked bunch. Now why can't this happen to the teams I pick against?
18 16 So, amidst thunderous applause, the NFL's showpiece offense entered the arena, staggered a bit under the driving wind and looked at one another in dismay. Their banner said 40 pass plays of 20 yards or more, 10 of 40. Not today, guys. And here's what our Philly correspondent, Reuben Numbers, had to report: "The No. 1 offense in the league failed to score a touchdown, didn't record a first down until halfway through the second quarter, had just 49 yards of offense in the first 29 1/2 minutes (got a lot in the last 30 seconds of the half, huh, Rube?) and got just 3.2 yards per carry from their running backs." Quick, send out for the Campbell's soup. Make it hot!
19 29 Admit it, you're writing this off to the ravings of a bitter, demented, overweight loony. (Whaddya mean, overweight?) Allow me to make a case. The fact that they beat the Steelers, accumulating only 98 yards of offense, tells you how well their own defense is playing. It's not only good, it's very good. It's not only very good, it's ... uh, very bad (Linda, will you stop feeding me nonsense?). It's very good indeed. Just watch, you're going to see some more upsets coming along, which will amaze everyone, except, of course, your faithful narrator.
20 23 An angry mob is forming, led by the Packers. How dare you put us below Oakland? I can see the e-mail from Packerland right now, words to the effect that my true Green Bay bias is coming out. "Go ahead," says one of them who managed to crawl in through the kitty door, "I defy you to say something nice about us." I'll say two nice things. Al Harris did a good job against the Cards' Anquan Boldin. And the Packers are the only team with exactly three wins.

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