Crimson to cardinal to scarlet -- enough is enough!

	As these Ohio State fans can attest, it often seems as if the red-clad are taking over. Al Tielemans/SI
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A few years ago I was in Columbia, Mo. I roused myself from my motel bed early on a Saturday morn and came downstairs, there to be blinded by a veritable mob of people, all attired in red. Who were these crimson wayfarers assaulting my bloodshot eyes?

Well, it turned out that Nebraska was playing Missouri that afternoon, and these cherry-garbed folk were all displaced football persons, Nebraska fans who couldn't get tickets to home Cornhuskers games, and so they followed the team, reddening stadiums throughout the heartland. Now understand, my respect for the loyalty of these cardinal-clad pilgrims was considerable, but since then I've grown sick and tired of fans festooned in red.

There is too much of it, and I am asking for a bloody moratorium. OK, maybe -- maybe -- I can live with your darker hues, your maroon, your garnet or your burgundy, but the ripe reds running riot, row upon row, in stadiums and arenas is becoming, as Chester A. Riley used to lament, a "revolting development."

What is it about red teams that makes their fans dress in red?

I know now I'll be flooded with mail telling me that supporters of such-and-such baby-blue or sea-green team always arrive attired at games just so, but come on, that's rare. OK, I saw that fans of the Miami Heat showed up all in white at playoff games last spring. When they stood up and cheered, it looked like a revolution of peasants in some tropical banana republic. But no, mostly it's a red thing.

Sometimes, when a red team plays a red team, like Nebraska vs. Oklahoma or Alabama vs. Arkansas, the fans from both sides wear red. It's a red-litter day. It's like in the olden times at games down South, where the bands from both teams would play Dixie, and first one side would scream and shout and then the other -- at the same song.

Like that, mostly the red rats are college fans. But now I've got to put up with St. Louis Cardinals fans wearing red, waving red, in the National League Championship Series. It has even spread to the NASCAR republic. Once that was just redneck. Now those who root for Dale Earnhardt Jr. show up in red hats and shirts.

Tiger Woods always wears red in the final round. It won't be long, I'm sure, before Tiger rooters will start painting the links red. Surprise us before this happens, Tiger. Pick a new color for next year. A nice mauve, perhaps, a cerulean blue, maybe a burnt orange, a lively fuchsia or a stylish ecru.

Look at Bobby Knight, who, as we know, usually sees red. He wore red sweaters at Indiana, just as all the Hoosiers fans wear red ... of course. But when he went to Texas Tech, whose colors are red and black, Coach Knight switched to ... black sweaters. You see, there can be life after red.

Understand, I've got nothing against red. Hey, you're listening to a man who named his daughter Scarlet. I'm just the fashion policeman trying to help all you cinnamon-clad crimson creatures, you puce people, you magenta masses, you vermilion millions.

Everybody's doing it now. Wearing red to games is tacky. It's passe. It's so yesterday. Red flag it.