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Detroit Rock City

As it turned out, Motown was perfect Super Bowl host

Posted: Tuesday February 7, 2006 1:17PM; Updated: Wednesday February 8, 2006 8:30AM
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Aretha Franklin
An Aretha Franklin wardrobe malfunction would have been some sight.

I have to admit it, I was dreading going to Detroit. I thought it would be too cold and be a miserable a place to host a Super Bowl. Man, was I wrong. Detroit freaking ROCKS!

When I arrived last Wednesday, the weather was mild, somewhere around 48 degrees, or roughly the same temperature as it was at kickoff of last year's Super Bowl in Jacksonville. I've always heard that Detroit has two seasons -- winter, and July 15. This year there was a definite party season added. Celebrities were everywhere.

The first bigshot I bumped into (literally) was all-world egomaniac wideout Chad Johnson of the Bengals. As we shook hands, he leaned close to me and whispered, "Do you know anyone that can stop me?" When I answered Jon Kitna, Chad started to smile and then turned really sad. I guess sometimes the truth hurts more than the sound of Aaron Neville singing the Star-Spangled Banner.

I know Aaron can sing me under a table and that he's sold millions of records, but with all that he's earned, why can't he get that coaster taken off his face?

On Saturday I saw Ronnie Lott in the hotel lobby. He said no when I asked him to sign my nephew's hat. As I walked away, I had to fight the urge to shout, "He doesn't even know who you are!" or worse, "No problem, Ronnie, Gimme four!"

As we all know, the Rolling Stones were bleeped not once, but twice during the halftime performance. Oh, the horror! As a parent, I'm glad the censors bleeped the naughty words in time so as not to scar America's youth, all of whom should have been in bed before halftime anyway.

I don't understood television censors. They make a big deal about a few harmless words and go bananas over Janet Jackson's right breast, but they don't seem bothered that erectile dysfunction commercials are airing while I'm watching TV with my 3-year-old son.