Posted: Wednesday October 11, 2006 11:21AM; Updated: Wednesday October 11, 2006 12:54PM
Hating the Yankees, and their superstar Derek Jeter, is un-American.
Walter Iooss Jr./SI
I'm a Boise State fan, Go Big Blue, but I get a little upset that they don't serve beer inside the stadium. It doesn't make any sense when everyone gets loaded in the parking lot or sneaks in a flask. We aren't a BCS school, so we could use that extra revenue. How sympathetic are you to my two-hours-of-sobriety plight? -- Ian Ward, Boise
As someone who attends every football game as the sober voice of reason, I can tell you that I have no love lost on the fact that no beer is served inside Doak Campbell. Don't get me wrong, it's so good when it hits your lips, but it doesn't qualify as a prerequisite for me watching a football game. Sure, people getting sauced may generate extra revenue for the school, but that money will undoubtedly be spent on extra security and undercover cops to bust underage drinkers or to replace and refurbish parts of the stadium that some drunk decided needed his own personal touch.
Are you as sick of seeing the Yankees in the postseason as I am? And why do all you girls think Derek Jeter is so good-looking? He looks like an alien. Wouldn't baseball be better off without the Yankees? -- Anon., Boston
When it comes to the playoffs, sports bars are usually divided in half: those rooting for their personal franchise of choice and those rooting for the Yankees to choke. When Detroit sent the Yankees back to New York to clean the tears from their pinstripes, there was much rejoicing. But why all the hate? Maybe it's because people see the Yankees as the bully that shoved them into the lockers after school. Maybe they see George Steinbrenner as the Dark Lord of the Sith, luring players to his evil empire with his riches.
I say ... how un-American! To hate on the Yankees is to hate on apple pie, Stars and Stripes, and all that this country stands for. Well, maybe not that bad. Still, we all covet the idea of the American dream: to excel in our professional career, to seek wealth in whatever profession we choose. The Yankees do just that -- they use the money they have to go after the best players to take them to the championship. The fact that these funds are so readily accessible to the Yanks pisses off people whose teams aren't as fortunate.
And while most franchises boast superstars who are overpaid, arrogant and unlikable, Jeter is the anti-venom. When the Yankees are in a sticky situation, Mr. Clutch swoops in like Superman and saves the day, without the least bit of self-righteousness. No one hates on Superman, so why Jeter? Don't hate him because he's beautiful, hate him because your wife thinks he is.
I'm not a Yankees soap boxer, but even I know it's time for the Yankee-hating to stop, even if you reside in Boston. They really are a class-act team. So don't sulk like Steinbrenner stole your team's lunch money. If the Girl Scouts can raise money, so can your boys.
That said, I am working a Devil Rays car wash next week. Bikinis, anyone?
Are you one of these coffee addicts who go to Starbucks several times a day to get mochas and lattes and all these other drinks that aren't really coffee? When did a Starbucks coffee cup become a fashion accessory? You look through tabloid magazines and all you see is celebs with coffee cups. Does this bother you as much as it bothers me? -- Diane, Norwalk
It's called product placement in the business world, and stars are sure giving Starbucks its fair share of free pub these days. But I wouldn't stress about it too much. This will soon become passé, like dogs the size of squirrels as fashion accessories and the Louis Vuitton bag that is "so last season." I can only pray that those bug-eyed glasses skip Dodge when Starbucks cups do, because last time I checked, looking like you just left the optometrist is not hot.
And no, I don't do the whole "this is your body cracked out on a double shot of whatever the hell the trendy flavor of the week is" thing.