Bonds tries to spin things his way with new show

	Life in a bubble: Barry Bonds' every move is captured on celluloid. AP
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At one point during the final few minutes of Bonds on Bonds, the new "reality" show that debuted Tuesday night on ESPN, Barry Bonds breaks down and, tears welling, says to his videographer:

"I wish I could just walk away, like leave this game. But then I let my father down, my mom down, myself, everybody. My teammates.

"I just wanna play ball. And that's just it."

Oh, if only it were that easy, Barry. If only it were that easy.

Has anyone, in any sport, at any time, been quite like Bonds? Has anyone been in anything close to his predicament? He's a supremely talented player, maybe the best slugger baseball ever has seen. He's approaching one of the most hallowed records in any sport, about to pass Babe Ruth and has a chance at Hank Aaron's home run mark.

He's also the central figure in a very public investigation that could bring more shame to his sport and ruin a lifetime of hard work. He's vilified by at least half the baseball fans in America.

And, as would follow in this day and age, now he has his own TV show.

Bonds is proud. He's defiant. He's conceited. In BoB, produced by ESPN and a Los Angeles company -- with Bonds' blessing -- we see all of that. We also see the profane, the introspective, the angry, the light-hearted.

Still, after the hour-long show ended -- expect one of these every week for a while -- we were left with this: What did we really find out about Barry Bonds that we didn't already know? What, in fact, do we really know? What do you make of Bonds now?

Yes, the program reveals that the steroids scandal that has dogged Bonds for the past several years bothers him. He tries to say that it doesn't and then finally admits it does.

"I have so much on my shoulders, so much weight on my back. Constantly climbing that hill is getting a lot harder and harder by the day," Bonds said. "But I'm going to climb it, no matter what."

No, he doesn't come out and flatly deny the charges of steroid use that have been leveled against him. He addresses them, though, in a strangely rope-a-dope kind of way.

"If you're not guilty of anything, why are you being charged?" he asked. "That's not our society. That's not the American way. This whole thing has to do with Barry Bonds and a record."