A losing week was salvaged somewhat by a strange Sunday nighter in which the Sox gave up seven runs in the first inning to the Twins and still won. You want normalcy? Well, there's Ozzie Guillen after a Saturday ejection. "We're not playing Little League. This isn't [bleeping] college. This is the big-league level," the skipper said. "And I don't give a [bleep] if I get fined $100 million." You can always count on Ozzie.
"I'm sure there have been better starts," Cardinals closer Jason Isringhausen said. "But there can't be too many, can there?" No, few in the history of the game have ever come out swinging like Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols. He hit his 19th homer on Saturday. No one's ever hit that many that soon. So tell me again: Why is everybody talking about Barry Bonds?
The Tigers swept Cleveland over the weekend, which, truth be told, isn't that big a deal. (I mean, if the Royals can do it....) But what Detroit did to Victor Martinez, the Indians' superb switch-hitting catcher, was truly impressive. No hits in 12 at-bats. No balls out of the infield. No walks. The guy never reached base. Ask him if the Tigers are for real.
Closer Billy Wagner, who hacked off his ex-mates in Philly last week with some comments about his time in the City of Brotherly Love, took on Milwaukee's plate-crowding Brady Clark on Saturday. (The Mets lost two of three to the Brewers.) "If you throw a strike, you'd hit him in the cup," Wagner said. "It's a joke." Well, it wouldn't be to Clark.
The sizzling Phils cooled off the Reds in a weekend sweep, punctuated by two homers on Sunday by Ryan Howard -- a pinch-hit job to tie the score in the eighth and the game-winner in the 12th. The Phils have lost only one game this month and are thinking about having Terrell Owens throw out a first pitch so fans at Citizens Bank Park can have someone to boo.
Ken Griffey Jr. returned, hit a walkoff home run in the 11th to beat the Nationals, and the Reds were coasting through another unexpectedly good week -- until, that is, they ran headlong into the Phillies. A three-game set in Pittsburgh, starting on Tuesday, is probably just what the Reds need. And, of course, a lot less of that Howard kid.
The Boston Herald reports that phenom closer Jonathan Papelbon isn't as calm as he might appear. He's grinding his teeth so much that he's getting headaches. "I'm doing it self-consciously," he said, "and I think it's a little bit stress-related, maybe." Sounds like a lot of clam chowder in the kid's future. With an aspirin chaser.
Gary Sheffield's wrist, and Hideki Matsui's. (I'd like to apologize, to follow Matsui's lead, for any pain I have caused my employer. Or, for that matter, those who read the PRs.) Randy Johnson getting hammered. The Boss getting steamed. A-Rod neither here nor there. Just 1-3 against Boston. And still atop the AL East. Everything changes in New York. And everything stays the same.
Other than letting Rick Sutcliffe go on the air after too many pops during a local golf outing, San Diego has done little wrong lately. The Padres are an astonishing 13-1 in May (a year after a 22-6 May catapulted them to an NL West title). Opponents have hit just .213 against them. Of course, a 7-0 record against the lowly Cubs certainly helps.
I don't want to keep hammering poor Brad Lidge, but since that Pujols blast in last October's NL Championship Series, Lidge is 0-4 with three blown saves and a 5.92 ERA. Manager Phil Garner ever so gently pulled him from the closer's role late last week to get him straightened out. Let's hope Lidge, a genuinely good guy, finds his way back. If not, the Astros are in deep trouble.