Using poker to raise money has pluses -- and risks

	Not even charities are immue to the power poker has over everyone these days. Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Each Friday, SI.com's Justin Doom offers his take on the week's most interesting stories.

I'd like to thank Mark Twain for writing the following, which more or less holds true today: "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a 'flush.' It is enough to make one ashamed of the species."

With the country, nay, world's, interest in all things poker, especially Hold 'Em, still skyrocketing, many local charities are turning to the game to raise money for worthy causes. For example, a recent game held in Arlington Heights, Ill., netted the National High School Gymnastics Coaches Association nearly $4,000. And, as reported in the New York Times, "The Ken-Rock Community Center in Rockford, Ill., lost $50,000 in United Way funds last year, a severe hit to its $200,000 annual budget. But four poker tournaments -- the state's annual limit -- of 500 players paying $60 for a shot at the World Series brought Ken-Rock $60,000."

Thing is, not everyone thinks this is a good idea. States have varying laws on gambling, charity games and the like, but with or without laws, some just don't like the game, period. Jack Knapp, executive director of the Virginia Assembly of Independent Baptists, told the Times that "the people pushing to legalize charity poker 'want the skimmings; they're not really concerned about charities.'" Added Knapp: "Any charity that is worth supporting, the American people will support, and I don't think they need to resort to these other things."

Is this a bad time to bring up church bingo nights?

NFL not doing itself any favors

Dallas Morning News writer Chip Brown made a sharp observation this week in his paper's blog, noting how of all the specious pro-Steelers conspiracy theories -- to say nothing of how the NFL was selling Terrible Towels at Ford Field -- there is one that could get Seahawks fans even more riled up. That piece of "evidence"? The back judge, Bob Waggoner, who made that terrible push-off pass interference call on Darrell Jackson, the latest and most ludicrous flag since Ohio State robbed Miami in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl, hails from Pittsburgh.

Did Waggoner intentionally try to help the Steelers? Probably not. But this is one of those perception-is-reality cases that the NFL could have avoided with a fraction of foresight.

All rise ... and cheer for the Seahawks

A Tacoma judge apologized on Monday for leading her courtroom in a pro-Seahawks cheer last week before a sentencing hearing in a manslaughter case.

From the Associated Press story describing the incident: "Judge Beverly G. Grant issued a statement Monday apologizing to prosecutors, lawyers for Steve Keo Teang and relatives of Tino Patricelli, who was shot to death by Teang a year ago in a fight outside a tavern ... after all were told to rise when the judge entered the courtroom, she asked everyone to say, 'Go Seahawks' before taking their seats. Dissatisfied with the softness of the response, she repeated the request."

"I sincerely and humbly apologize if any of my actions caused any hurt or dismay," Grant told the AP. "When you've done something that offended someone, you apologize."

"The important thing is, I've learned my lesson," Grant didn't add. "Next time, when I'm sentencing another man to prison for killing another man, I'll save my football cheers for after the verdict."

Numbers don't lie

Despite wide speculation that the Super Bowl was a weak, sloppy game, rife with bad play and ugly comb-overs,more households tuned in to watch it than any other television program in history, except for the last episode of M*A*S*H in 1983.

"It's kind of pathetic that show is still the benchmark for the all-time, most-watched program," an unnamed, high-ranking TV executive didn't say. "I mean, clearly, people really had nothing else better to watch 20 years ago, and nowadays, with so many channels, cable and satellite, not even the Super Bowl can top it. Have you tried watching the re-runs? God, what an overrated show. Blech. Still not as bad as Home Improvement, but yikes -- why is that still on?"

This is completely unnecessary, Part 1

Next time you get pizza and wings from your favorite local pizzeria, ask for the "extra large cheese and 175 wings special." See if it's named after Joey Chestnut.

Chestnut, 22, of San Jose, Calif., just set a Wing Bowl record by inhaling 173 chicken wings. Second-place finisher and heavy crowd favorite Rich "The Locust" LeFevre "only" polished off 156.

"Some people may think competitive eating is a disgusting waste of time and resources, especially given America's rate of obesity and the fact that so many people worldwide go hungry every night," Chestnut didn't say, "but to those people I say, mmmmrrrfffff mmmmfffggg fffmmmfadm yompghhasd fmmmmm mmm Sorry. I shouldn't talk with my mouth full."

This is completely unnecessary, Part 2

A 100-pound woman Virginia woman recently won a grilled-cheese-sandwich eating contest, polishing off 26 whole sandwiches in 10 minutes to beat her nearest competitor's total of 25 1/2.

"I could have done better," said Sonya Thomas, who won $8,000 for her efforts and also ate 167 chicken wings at the 2004 Wing Bowl.

Thomas, who holds a number of other world eating records, also told the AP that she naturally has a large stomach capacity and that she gained about 10 pounds from eating the grilled cheeses.

But here's the best part of this whole story, better than any joke I could possibly think of, as quoted directly from the AP story: "... she had to catch a train shortly after the contest to make her shift at a Burger King on Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland, where she is a manager."

Justin Doom writes for Scorecard Daily every Friday and can be reached at sidoomsday@yahoo.com.