This was supposed to have been a big weekend in sports. Instead, UCLA and Florida cruised into the NCAA final game; Michelle Wie couldn't come back to win her first LPGA major; Major League Baseball's opener went well past 2 a.m. on the East Coast and was played in the perfect storm. Perhaps the only good news all weekend was that Dick Vitale didn't make the Basketball Hall of Fame on the first ballot. (Awesome, baby!)
For my money, the biggest story of the weekend -- and maybe even all of 2006 -- was the announcement that Anna and Kris Benson were splitting. After nine years of love, excitement and revealing clothing, baseball's most magnetic couple is no longer.
In the long run, Kris Benson should end up OK after all of this. Sure, he'll be without Anna and her Bensons, but she managed to get him traded to Baltimore before she left, which means he'll now get to work with Leo Mazzone, the best pitching coach of all time. Mazzone will teach Kris his "down and away" philosophy, and I'm betting Kris turns in a career year. (In his first start since the split, Kris went four innings and got the win against the Nationals in an exhibition game.)
As for Anna, the woman seems unable to do wrong. Even when she would occasionally spill their marriage's sexual peccadilloes, people would shrug and smile. "That's Anna!" Women love her frank talk. Men love any talk from her, because it's usually accompanied by photos.
I assume she's going to be OK financially, if only because of the animated opening on her official Web site. (Talk about foreshadowing.) But to help her move forward emotionally, once Anna recovers from allegedly catching Kris doing a little throwing on the side (if you know what I mean), we've put together a quick list of people Anna might want to consider for her next relationship.
10. LeBron James: King James seems to have it all, from his nine-figure deal with Nike to nearly endless triple doubles. But all this stuff about dating his high school sweetheart, well, that's not going to cut it, not if 'Bron wants to get to the next level of fame. America's new couple would own the Heartland.
9. Sharon Stone: Now that Basic Instinct 2has tanked, Sharon's schedule has to be clearing up. Together with Anna, Sharon could have another decade in the limelight. Not to mention Howard Stern's undivided attention.
8. Kevin Federline: This has to happen. Baseball's greatest ex-wife and celebritydom's most famous do-nothing husband would provide VH1 with enough programming to last for years. I can already imagine their signature line of white tank-top undershirts flying off K-Mart shelves.
7. Matt LeBlanc: If Anna wants to go Hollywood, where her physical talents would fit right in, she should aim for LeBlanc, the former Friends star who recently split with his wife.
6. Tony Parker: If Eva Longoria keeps putting her foot in her mouth regarding their relationship, Tony could consider moving on to our girl. Anna always seemed to give a little too much information about Kris, but at least she always said positive things.