An inconvenient puke

	Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb threw up in the fourth quarter of Philadelphia's loss to Tampa Bay last Sunday. David Bergman/SI
	RELATED • KING: Week 8 game-by-game predictions
	MAILBAG Submit a comment or question for Michael. Your name: Your e-mail address: Your home town: Enter your question:

Speaking on Fox Sports Radio's "Out of Bounds" to Craig Shemon and James Washington, Eagles linebacker Dhani Jones sounded suspiciously like Al Gore when discussing the Technicolor Yawn produced by his quarterback, Donovan McNabb, in the fourth quarter of Philly's 22-20 defeat at Tampa last Sunday.

"It was hot, man," Jones said. "That heat exhaustion will affect you quick. Let me tell you something: This climate change, this ozone-layer stuff, is killing football! I don't know what's going on, but fossils fuels, everyone needs to convert to electric cars. Get off your SUVs. If you do, have one that converts from V8 to V4. 'Cuz it is not supposed to be hot in October. Last I heard when I was in high school in October it was 50 [degrees], it was 40. I don't care if you were in Florida, it was 70 in Florida. This is ridiculous. A hundred and five in the middle of October in Florida? C'mon, man, you gotta be kidding me. I'm full of political action statements right now. Get a grip. Get some hydrogen fuel, or electric, or something like that. Stop using your styrofoam cups. You're killing me. El Niño is here!"

Keeping a star quarterback from hurling on national TV -- that's the best reason I've heard this week to reduce global warming. Well, other than saving the Earth from extinction.

World's simplest pool

When 49ers assistant head coach/defense Mike Singletary asked to purchase a fan for his office on the team's dime, sources told me he was turned down by John York's bean-counters (the team denies it). Think the Hall of Fame linebacker would rather be on the sidelines of the franchise for which he played than the one for which he currently coaches? On Sunday at Soldier Field, the Bears will blow away the Niners.

Lies, lies, lies

1. Without pass-rushing studs Steve Foley (reportedly still can't walk after being shot by an off-duty police officer), Shaun Phillips (serious calf injury) and, pending appeal, Shawne Merriman ('roids or wickedly deceptive supplements, depending upon what you believe), the Chargers will remain a legitimate AFC power.

2. Matt Bryant will pay for a meal in the Tampa/St. Pete area sometime in the next five years.

3. My wife and I recently spent a date night seeing Jackass: Number Two -- and I was the one who suggested it.

Let's do some Patron Silver shots for . . .

Drew Bledsoe. Like Kurt Warner, he is a great dude in a regrettable situation, but let's not lose sight of all that he has accomplished and what a stand-up guy he has been over his outstanding career.

Oxygen-deprived thought from above

I don't know if Charlie Weis has the stomach for an NFL head coaching job, but man, is the Notre Dame coach looking large and in charge these days. My gut feeling? He'll stay in South Bend.

Hidden surf spot

Like his late brother Pat, former Army Ranger Kevin Tillman is an informed free-thinker with the guts to voice his opinions (and fight for his country). You can find Kevin's views on war and politics at truthdig.com, where he celebrated what would have been Pat's 30th birthday by holding back nothing.

This week's proof that the University of California is the center of the universe

As Marshawn Lynch celebrated Cal's 31-24 overtime victory over Washington last Saturday by zig-zagging across the Memorial Stadium turf in a golf cart, my non-sexual soulmate Greg Heywood and I clutched one another like scared schoolchildren, dreading the inevitable collision with DeSean Jackson's knee, or some other precious Golden Bears body part.

Blessedly, after decades of Debbie Downer moments, we are now in a more providential era of Cal football: Lynch, like Dustin Hoffman in Rainman, proved to be an excellent driver, and the 12th-ranked Bears emerged unscathed. Cal heads into its bye week with a 5-0 conference record, a half-game ahead of USC in the Pac-10 standings, thanks to the transcendent performance of a tailback whose greatest moments are yet to come.

Meanwhile, props to the world's greatest academic institution, which is shipping copies of Stephen Hawking's latest book on the cosmos to all 3,800 freshmen in the university's College of Letters and Science and encouraging them to read it over the upcoming winter break, in anticipation of the renowned physicist's appearance on campus in March. If all goes as planned, there won't be a whole lot of books cracked on New Year's Day.

Trippin' on E(mail)

"You wrote that Stanford is the worst team in football. Dude, what about Temple or Duke? My money is on Temple, even though Duke was shut out by a I-AA school."
-- Joe from Atlanta

Though it's hard to compare worm-infested apples to rotten oranges, I feel pretty secure about that statement. At the time I wrote it, the Cardinal had just gained 52 total yards in a 20-7 defeat to a previously winless Pac-10 team (Arizona) that was playing without its starting quarterback. The Wildcats, who'd finished with negative rushing yards in their previous three games, rolled up 220 on the ground at Stanford, which, after last Saturday's 38-3 thrashing by Arizona State, ranks 119th and last in the nation among Division I-A teams in rushing defense (255.5 yards per game) and opponents' third-down conversion rate (56.7 percent).

Besides, when it comes to atrocious, winless teams, the tiebreaker is worst mascot. Good luck beating The Tree.

"In your Oct. 19 column, you printed an e-mail from Joe Lovero heaping praise on you for directing him to Campos in Santa Monica for sustenance in the form of an avocado burrito. While Campos was always on my short list (as was Tito's Tacos), the go-to burrito place on the Westside has to be El Nopal: 'Home of the pregnant burrito.' Now that's nirvana. How could you not have given them the free plug? Having traded the beach and burritos years ago for humidity and horrendously horrible football (think Redskins), reading your column made me wish I was back in L.A. -- at least for a few meals!"
-- Michael Gan from Kensington, Md.

I know this may seem like a strange thing to say, but the next time I am in the D.C. area, or you are in Northern California, I will buy you a very good meal, and we can discuss this further. Or, better yet, if Cal and Michigan meet in the Rose Bowl, we can chow some pregnant burritos while dressed in similar color schemes.

"Titos! It rocks, especially the Meat Burrito. (Only elsewhere on the menu do they clarify the origin: 100 percent steer beef, but only wimps look a gift horse or burrito in the mouth.)"
-- James Affeld from Seattle

Sort of like the people who order a burger at Tommy's without chili and are treated to cries of "Sissy Burger!" from the dude behind the counter?