
Bring on Weekend (cont.)Posted: Thursday November 16, 2006 5:24PM; Updated: Friday November 17, 2006 3:04PM
Then come a pair of road games at Tennessee, which frustrated Manning and nearly beat Indianapolis in early October, and Jacksonville, which has been a major pain for the Colts the past few seasons. Should they survive all of that, the Colts likely will once again clinch homefield advantage with three games to play. And here's what they'd be staring at: A Monday night home game against the Bengals, who may or may not be alive in the playoff hunt by then. Manning and Carson Palmer waged a memorable passing duel last season, and it's hard to imagine Dungy telling his quarterback he'd have to skip all or part of the sequel. After that there's a road game at Houston on Christmas Eve day, and then -- get this -- a home game to close the regular season the following Sunday against Miami. Can you imagine seeing the gloomy faces of Bob Kuechenberg and a bunch of the other '72 Dolphins on the RCA Dome sidelines, their champagne still on ice, as the Colts surpassed (OK, not really, but that's what they think) their 14-0 regular season? But that's not the real reason to go for the Sweet 16. The true intent would be to stay as sharp and well-drilled as possible before the playoffs, to keep the Colts' rhythm as tight as the Wu-Tang Clan's. Dungy, undoubtedly, would disagree. After all the playoff disappointments in Tampa and Indy, he steadfastly believes that persistence is a virtue -- that, as last year's Steelers showed, if you keep knocking on the door long enough it will eventually open. Sometimes, however, the better move is to break the damned thing down. But Would George H. W. Bush Have Said This About Rummy?Interviewed on Fox Sports Radio's Out of Bounds, former NFL coach Jim Mora was asked by co-host Craig Shemon if Michael Vick -- the franchise quarterback for the team coached by Mora's son -- was a 'coach killer'? "I think you're correct," Mora answered. "And it worries me a little bit because my son is the head coach down there, ya know? But he's a great athlete, my son likes him a lot, he's a good kid. But he's not a passer. And you need a passer at quarterback to be successful consistently in the National Football League. And he ain't gettin' it done in that category. I agree with you." Wow. I'm not saying I necessarily agree with Mora, but this was yet another reminder that he is one of my personal favorites. Take It To the ATMA field goal will decide the San Diego-Denver game, and the Chargers will be the ones celebrating as time expires... Jason Taylor will absolutely pummel Vikings quarterback Brad Johnson in a Miami victory -- and Johnson, as always, will get back up and finish the game... Sometime before, during or after the Steelers' victory at Cleveland, Joey Porter will find a way to woof into the earhole of Browns receiver Braylon Edwards's helmet. Please, Boss, Send Me To...Were I to attend an NFL game this weekend, I'd surely choose the AFC West showdown between the Chargers and Broncos at Invesco Field at Mile High. But there is so much more at stake. As the Mamas and the Papas once harmonized: All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray. World's Simplest PoolIt had to end sometime, and thanks to four David Garrard interceptions (two off passes that bounced out of Matt Jones's grasp) and a second consecutive defeat to an otherwise 1-6 division rival, the Jaguars finally did me in 10 weeks into the season. I know I promised a few months ago to try to stop bagging on Jacksonville, the worst Super Bowl host city in NFL history. But when you lose 13-10 to the Texans, you deserve what's coming to you. As some of your city's native sons once sang, Gimme Back My Bullets. Which brings us to our next phase of the pool, in which I yield the floor to friends who try their hands at survival. The first, U.S. soccer legend Brandi Chastain, has some serious -- uh, you know, guts. Chastain is taking the Bengals, a 3 1/2-point underdog at New Orleans, "because a tiger will eventually catch its prey. They just had 40-plus scored on them, so they're due for a big game. They will win, although I do like Drew Brees." End-Zone Dancing With the StarsSo what did Keyshawn Johnson say when he scored that touchdown on Monday Night Football and found himself standing right in front of ESPN analyst and Hall of Fame quarterback Steve Young? "I said, 'Yeah... what now?'" Johnson recalled Wednesday (we're omitting the mother of all swear words). "It's not that Steve has said anything specific that bothered me, but he's always talking about this player or that player being no good. I just hate it when these guys stop playing and go on TV and, all of a sudden, they know everything about everything." Lies, Lies, Lies1) If your field goal falls short against the Bears, and a Chicago player catches it in the back of the end zone and stays stationary, don't worry -- he's not going anywhere, so just go ahead and start walking off the field. 2) John York can dine in any San Francisco restaurant with complete certainty that no one will spit in his food. 3) The Titans -- a franchise that made Warren Moon its centerpiece in the '80s, groomed Steve McNair as same and ultimately replaced him with Vince Young (jettisoning Billy Volek in the process) -- got rid of McNair after last season because they're racist. We know this because Mr. Credibility, Ray Lewis, told us so last week. Let's Do Some Patron Silver Shots ForBrenda Warner, recovering from back surgery -- and for her husband, Kurt, who has seven kids, a bedridden wife, a 1-8 season and an uncertain NFL future with which to contend. The Warners, as always, will handle it, gracefully. And, of course, for the great Bill Walsh, who is in our thoughts and prayers as he battles leukemia. Oxygen-Deprived Thought From AboveIf Randy Moss says one more stupid, selfish thing, might Raiders coach Art Shell pull a Reverse Sprewell? Hidden Surf SpotKevin Gogan, once named the NFL's dirtiest player in an article I did for SI, and Danger Ehren, who appeared in the recent "Jackass: Number Two," are a match made in heaven... at least when it comes to making a video on retaliatory violence based on the recent Albert Haynesworth and Tyler Brayton incidents. It is not for the faint of heart, but it is entertaining. This Week's Proof That the University of California Is the Center of the Universe: OK, Golden Bears -- that defeat at Arizona sucked, but all it did was crystallize things: One game, one mission, one dream. Cal can win the Pacific-10 conference title and clinch its first Rose Bowl berth in 48 years -- the only thing that really matters to us -- with a victory against USC Saturday at the L.A. Coliseum at 5 p.m. Pacific time. Those of us who will be in attendance look forward to an inspired clash between two entities that detest one another regardless of the stakes. I know at least one former Trojan is getting his game face on. Now kindly excuse me as I slip into mine and congregate solely with people who understand. Trippin' On E(Mail)"Do you really think Tiki is in his 'prime'? He plays great, but he is 30 or nearing 31 and he is really smart to plan his retirement, and not just to pursue other opportunities. Few things seem more true than the expiration date on 30-year-old running backs in the NFL." -- Dylan Bennett, Eugene, Ore. I'm not saying he'd be good for six more years (though I wouldn't put it past him), but given that he leads the NFL with 971 rushing yards and has a 5.1 yards-per-carry average for a team that leads its division... uh, yeah, I pretty much think he's in his prime. I also have no problem whatsoever with his decision -- emphasis on his -- to retire. "Is your historical perspective so short or knowledge so shallow, that you can't equate greatness with winning? Accorsi is wise, Eli is Great, Manning is royalty. What don't you get?" -- Eric, New Orleans Um, I don't really get any of it. But thanks for trying to help clear things up.
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