Theo Epstein is going to have to grow his hair longer if he wants to be a real rock star. AP
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1. Red Sox GM Theo Epstein played onstage with Pearl Jam at the band's concert last Thursday night in Boston. Lead singer Eddie Vedder asked Epstein to join him on Pearl Jam's latest single, Why'd You Trade Bronson Arroyo?

2. Rugby players, of course, are supposed to be macho. Thus the backdrop for one of the most humiliating sports headlines of all time: "All Black cries after handbag attack." Chris Masoe, a member of New Zealand's famed national rugby team, the All Blacks, apparently dissolved into tears when a teammate smacked him upside the head with a women's handbag in a bar early Sunday morning. Masoe had reportedly punched another patron after tripping over his leg when team captain Tana Umaga dispensed his comeuppance, cracking Masoe hard enough that it broke a mobile phone inside the purse. To add insult to injury, the rugby pair was then thrown out by a female bouncer. That's going to be hard to explain to the fellas on the pitch.

3. Barry Bonds hit his 715th homer on Sunday to move past Babe Ruth into second place on the all-time list. Strangely, the Giants radio broadcast cut out just before the historic blast. Gee, we hope those fans were able to hear about it somewhere else eventually.

4. The Giants fan who caught the No. 715 ball was on a concession line buying beer when it literally fell into his hands. The fan said he just tried to think where Ruth would be if he was alive today.

5. Stat of the weekend: According to the Society of American Baseball Research, it's been nearly 85 years since Ruth hasn't been in the top two on the career home run list. On June 20, 1921, Ruth passed Sam Thompson for second place when he hit homer No. 127. That's right, 127. Consider that Thompson is now tied for 497th place with Smoky Burgess, Alvin Dark, Gregg Jefferies, Vic Power and Pee Wee Reese.

6. Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas was taken into custody with teammate Awvee Storey on Saturday night in Miami Beach on charges of disobeying police. Team officials tried to put a positive spin on the matter, saying it wasn't long ago that the Wizards were so anonymous they couldn't even get arrested.

7. Ricky Williams practiced on Monday with the Toronto Argonauts of the CFL a day after signing a one-year contract. The Argonauts hope Williams can be a budding player north of the border, as opposed to playing with buds in the States.

8. Move over, Rosie Ruiz. Amos Tirop Matui of Kenya crossed the finish line first at Sunday's ING Ottawa Marathon, and like Ruiz at the 1980 Boston Marathon, it turned out he took a shortcut. But unlike Ruiz, who infamously cut many corners by hopping on mass transit, Matui didn't cheat intentionally. It turns out that a group of high school students left the barricades they were supposed to be guarding to talk to some friends at the next corner. While they were gone, a motorist moved the barricade. That led Matui and 13 other runners to miss a turn, enabling them to cut 400 meters off the marathon distance. Abderrahime Bouramdane of Morocco was eventually declared the winner though he crossed the tape nearly two minutes behind Matui. Who was organizing this race, FEMA?

9. Ron Artest is driving a tour bus with his face on the side while touring this summer as the opening act for Mike Jones and Young Jeezy. Artest was offered the chance to be a headliner, but he insists on being a starter.

10. Do you want to work out but have trouble jogging and chewing gum at the same time? Then the cordless jump rope might be for you.  The U.S. Patent Office this month issued a patent to an Ohio man for a jump rope without the rope. What's left, you might reasonably wonder? Just the handles, with a moving weight inside that is supposed to simulate the feel of a rope moving as it might if you were actually exercising. Actually, "handles" is being too generous; so far the man has only developed one handle, because he's waiting for financial backers before building a second. It's a shame those Enron guys are heading to the slammer -- this investment might be right up their alley. In fact, and sadly this isn't a joke, the inventor says his design is especially well-suited for prisons and mental institutions, where rope might be considered a suicide risk. Of course, using it in public might result in being sent to a mental institution.

Reader submissions: With the new month nearly upon us, this coming Friday will mark the latest all-reader-submission edition. Please send your entries by Thursday afternoon. Thanks in advance for all your efforts.

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