
| Posted: Thursday August 24, 2006 10:18AM; Updated: Thursday August 24, 2006 12:13PM
1. Albert Pujols scored nearly identically to Babe Ruth on a series of scientific tests that were also given 85 years ago when Ruth, like Pujols, was a 26-year-old slugger. Yet some insist that the Babe's performance is still more impressive since he'd just downed 12 hot dogs and a six-pack. 2. Pujols is certainly an exciting player, but not even his two-homer, seven-RBI performance in Tuesday night's game against the Mets could hold the attention of every fan. Former President Bill Clinton caught the game at Shea Stadium, and a camera caught him snoozing during the eighth inning with the Cardinals clinging to a 7-6 lead. Fortunately, Clinton rose to the occasion for Carlos Beltran's game-winning two-run homer in the ninth, waking in time to high-five fans sitting around him. Indeed, Shea Stadium in this turnaround season has certainly resembled a place called Hope. 3. New Jets running back Kevan Barlow has apologized for likening his former coach, San Francisco's Mike Nolan, to Adolf Hitler. Upon reflection, Barlow says that Nolan is more of a Joseph Goebbels type. 4. Yankees GM Brian Cashman said in a radio interview that the franchise, despite tremendous revenue, is losing money. In related news, music-supply stores report a stream of customers requesting the world's smallest violin. 5. The University of Oklahoma has banned its athletes from working at a Norman car dealership where two football players broke NCAA rules by accepting payment for work they hadn't performed. Our tree-falls-in-the-forest question is this: How can one determine that a player is no longer working at a no-show job? 6. PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem says the sport has no plans to institute drug testing because there's no evidence of drug use among players. That is, if you don't count all the Xanax the rest of the field takes once Tiger Woods grabs the lead. 7. In other PGA news, Finchem created a minor controversy Wednesday when he drank a Diet Pepsi at a press conference even though Coca-Cola is an official PGA corporate sponsor. As punishment, Finchem's foot will be ritually run over by Tiger's Buick. 8. Steroids were found in a raid this month at a sports school in China. Out of sheer habit, Greg Anderson refused comment. 9. The U.S. basketball team rallied from a nine-point halftime deficit to post a 94-85 victory over Italy on Wednesday at the FIBA World Championship. It took a while for the Americans to adjust to Italy's strategy of constantly flopping to draw charges. 10. Reader feedback: In Tuesday's edition, I defended myself from a claim by angry reader Hayden of Vermont that I cruised computer porn sites by claiming that I once tied George Costanza for first place in a "contest." As a number of eagled-eyed 10 Spot observers pointed out, however, this didn't necessarily prove that I was master of my domain. As the plane is going down in the Seinfeld series finale, George confesses that he cheated in the contest, thereby making Jerry the winner. (Whether George legitimately outlasted quick-draw Kramer and JFK Jr.-obsessed Elaine has never been established.) Therefore, I will rephrase to say that I definitely possess more self-control than legendary hand model Ray McKigney.
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