Quote of the Week

	Laurence Maroney has averaged 6.3 yards per carry during the preseason. AP

"Is the Pope Catholic?''
-- New England owner Bob Kraft, responding to my question, "Has Laurence Maroney looked good in camp?''

Quote of the Week II

"It's pretty easy. When a team doesn't want you or need you, retire, buddy.''
-- A retiring Junior Seau, last Monday.

Quote of the Week III

"I think we're all shocked. It was a call that was made on Tuesday morning after, obviously, the press conference, which was a great day, and there was an interest by the Patriots. When a championship team calls, you definitely have to answer the call.''
-- An unretiring Junior Seau, last Friday, upon signing with the Patriots.

Quote of the Week IV

"Were the fans pretty rough on Johnny Damon when he came back?''
-- Indianapolis kicker Adam Vinatieri, a former Patriot, when asked if he felt that the fans in New England will be as rough on him when he returns to Foxboro on Nov. 5 as they were on May 1, when Damon entered Fenway Park for the first time as a Yankee.

Well, Adam, they did boo him.

By the way, the sprained ankle Vinatieri sustained in camp last week is a little worse than we've been led to believe. Colts GM Bill Polian told me Sunday night that he "expects'' Vinatieri to be ready for the Sept. 10 season opener at the Giants. I told him that didn't sound like such a ringing endorsement. He said his medics tell him Vinatieri should be ready by then. Interesting. It's not just a slight thing.

Stat of the Week

Number of Cleveland Browns centers injured, suspended or retired -- or some combination of the above -- in the last 25 days: six.

Number of centers traded for: one.

Number of centers worked out by the team: four.

Number of free-agent centers signed since the start of camp: three.

Number of depth-chart combinations at center since July 26: eight.

The other day, in Los Angeles with my breakfast java, Cleveland general manager Phil Savage said into my telephonic earpiece, "Hey, if you see any centers out there hanging around Starbucks, we're interested. Very interested.''

It's possible that there has never been this kind of upheaval at one position in the first month of a training camp. No records are kept on such things, but follow the bouncing depth chart:

The Browns open camp with a depth chart of LeCharles Bentley, Bob Hallen and Rob Smith.

July 27: Bentley, in the first hour of his first practice after signing a six-year, $36 million free-agent deal last winter, tears a patella tendon and is out for the year.

July 29: Unemployed center Alonzo Ephraim, who has never started an NFL game at center and is fresh off being up all night in Alabama as his girlfriend delivered Alonzo Ephraim II, signs at 1 p.m. Depth chart: Hallen, Ephraim, Smith.

July 31: Savage gets word that Ephraim is in the NFL's substance-abuse program and, if he makes the team, will have to miss the first four games of the season on suspension. The Browns didn't know this when they signed Ephraim and are chagrined, to say the least.

Aug. 5: Savage holds auditions for four centers at the team's camp in Berea, Ohio. He signs former Tampa Bay backup Todd Washington. Depth chart: Hallen, Ephraim, Washington, Smith.

Aug 6: Washington tells coach Romeo Crennel that his heart isn't in it and retires. For insurance, Savage signs Arena League center Mike Mabry, a Jon Bon Jovi employee with the Philadelphia Soul. Depth chart: Hallen, Ephraim, Smith, Mabry.

Aug. 8: A day after leaving the team to have his aching back examined, Hallen calls Crennel to tell him his heart, too, isn't in it. He, too, retires. Savage talks with the Dolphins about backup center Seth McKinney and believes he can make a deal for McKinney if need be. He puts the deal on hold to see what else he can do. Depth chart: Ephraim, Smith, Mabry.

Aug. 9: Savage is interested in Eagles backup Hank Fraley, but two phone calls to the Eagles aren't returned. (Philly wouldn't have traded Fraley anyway; the Eagles don't know if presumed starter Jamaal Jackson will make it through the season healthy, and Fraley is cheap insurance if he doesn't win the job.) So the Browns trade a conditional pick to New England for versatile offensive lineman Ross Tucker. Depth chart: Ephraim, Smith, Tucker, Mabry.

Aug. 10: In the team's first preseason game, at Philadelphia, the center who might have been having the best camp of anyone at the position, Smith, a rookie free agent from Tennessee, suffers a high ankle sprain. He's out at least two weeks. Depth chart: Ephraim, Tucker, Mabry.

Aug. 11: The Browns learn the McKinney option with Miami is dead. McKinney has undergone season-ending back surgery after being hurt in practice earlier in the week.

Aug. 16: The NFL makes it official: Ephraim is suspended for the first four games of the season.

"What's your depth chart now?'' I asked Savage.

"I think now it would be Tucker, Ephraim -- although he wouldn't be able to play for us early -- and Mabry," he said. "Smith should be back soon. We've got three weeks to get that straight, and we'll probably use all three weeks to do it. It's very possible the final solution is not in our building yet. We've got some time.''

Time he's got. Sanity? That's another issue.

Factoid That May Interest Only Me

Last week I was fortunate enough to have an audience with Douglas Nowicki, the Archabbot of St. Vincent's College in Latrobe, Pa., the Steelers' summer home. St. Vincent's is an hour east of Pittsburgh, and it's the home of about 250 Benedictine monks. Quaint, lovely, picturesque ... in short, everything that's good about NFL training camps.

Anyway, the Archabbot gave me a photocopied photo of him handing the late Pope John Paul II an autographed football in Vatican City a couple of years before his death. The football, a gift from Steelers president Dan Rooney, had been signed by every Steeler, and Nowicki hand-delivered the ball to His Holiness.

When he handed the pope the ball, Nowicki said, the pope said two words:

"Football! Rooney!''

Yes, John Paul knew the Rooneys. Small world. "We met a few times,'' Rooney told me. He must have left quite an impression

Aggravating/Enjoyable Travel Note of the Week

For the record, this has been my itinerary in the last four weeks: Montclair, N.J.; to Bethlehem, Pa. (Eagles); to Montclair; to Bethlehem again; to Orlando (Bucs); to Jackson, Miss. (Saints); to Atlanta (Falcons); to Spartanburg, S.C. (Panthers); to Clarksville, Tenn. (Titans); to Jacksonville (Jaguars); to Houston (Texans); to Terre Haute, Ind. (Colts); to Georgetown, Ky. (Bengals); to Pittsford, N.Y. (Bills); to Canton, Ohio (Raiders-Eagles Hall of Fame game); to Allen Park, Mich. (Lions); to Northbrook, Ill. (commissioner search); to Green Bay (Packers); to Montclair; to Cincinnati (Bengals-Redskins); to Latrobe, Pa. (Steelers); to Cheney, Wash. (Seahawks); to Oxnard, Calif. (Cowboys); to Los Angeles (day with daughter Laura); to Montclair; then back out this weekend to Indianapolis (Seahawks-Colts).

Six observations:

1. We are a fat country. The West doesn't looks as obese to me, particularly in Washington state and the L.A. area. But God help you if you're in the middle seat on a long flight from the East or South. At least that's what I saw. And felt.

2. Spokane is underrated. Warm, friendly, people reading, people doing stuff outdoors, people doing family things together. Cute little downtown.

3. The airlines in 2006 are what Greyhound was in 1976. I used to travel by packed bus, and that's what I feel like now. It's not special to fly anymore. Not at all. Not that it should be, necessarily; I'm not saying flying should be an elitist thing. I'm simply stating a fact -- that getting on an airplane is now as common as driving a car for most people. And for those of us who fly a lot, it means very, very few times now will we have an empty seat next to us, which means working on planes is now going to be a painful chore.

4. We're pretty patient travelers. I saw only one woman fly off the handle after getting bumped off a flight. I saw no one get ticked about the new security measures, which are patently ridiculous. I bought a bottle of water at a stand right next to my gate in Las Vegas the other night, and the gate attendant told me I couldn't take it on board. I mean, think of that. The same water that passes whatever inspection the airports have in place to be sold next to a gate can't be taken on a plane. On Sunday I saw a child with a snow globe have to leave it at security. An upset child, I might add. Never know what might be in that globe.

5. We've got a beautiful country. On back-to-back days last week, I was in the lush Laurel Highlands of west-central Pennsylvania and the arid high country of eastern Washington, with beautiful tall grass and lovely views across farmland for as far as the eye could see. What I love about NFL camps -- and, unfortunately, it's vanishing, with so many teams moving back to their permanent team facilities for the summer -- is the chance we have to see Latrobe, Pa., and Cheney, Wash., and Clarksville, Tenn. We can see America and do our jobs at the same time.

6. I met some really knowledgeable fans. In Oxnard last Wednesday, sitting with my back against a chain-link fence watching Terrell Owens' first practice in almost two weeks, I was amazed to hear the fans calling out the names of free-agent wideouts along with established stars. A few guys standing behind me, with T.O. 15 feet in front of them, were school-girl giggly, so excited about their chance to see the Cowboys installing their offense right before their very eyes. Interesting to hear from the anti-Drew Bledsoe and pro-Tony Romo fans. "It's Romo time, Drew,'' one of these smart sorts said to Bledsoe after an incompletion. What I liked about these folks was they didn't care about the T-shirts or the autographs or the cheerleaders. They cared about being able to see the guts of training camp -- a team they loved putting in the offense with which it would try to win the Super Bowl.