Great, great game. If you don't like this game, with Joey Porter ringing Daunte Culpepper's bell and Heath Miller saving Charlie Batch's bacon by catching nine quick passes in traffic, then you just don't like football.
Remember the 2005 opener in Charlotte, when the Saints shocked the world -- and the Panthers? This game won't be nearly as dramatic, but John Abraham will make a great first impression with two sacks and three pressures of Jake Delhomme.
Jake Plummer laughs at the people trying to give away his job. After a series of those chuckles, he strafes the Rams for 330 yards. Oh, and the Denver running-back job? Looks like Mike Bell's. He's one of the day's rushing leaders, with 132 yards.
Not that there's much pressure on Mario Williams to make a quick impact. But after Williams doesn't lay a hand on Donovan McNabb in four futile quarters, the Texans fans rain raspberries on the No. 1 overall pick as he walks off the field.
Football is a quarterback's game. Tom Brady is a quarterback's quarterback. And with so many of his recent weapons missing, he still finds a way to lead five scoring drives and keep the ball for 37 minutes. And the replacement for Adam Vinatieri, Stephen Gostkowski, hits three of three field goal attempts.
Kerry Collins looks across the field and says: Where am I? Back in New York? With only two weeks of his nose in the playbook, Collins outduels old pal Chad Pennington and leads the Titans to two fourth-quarter touchdowns. The Cardiac Titans win their opener.
Don't get fooled, Dennis Green. Your Cards aren't this good. The 49ers, though, are this bad. By the way, I'm not hearing good things about the grass at your new stadium in Glendale. Beautiful place, but the grass is coming up in huge chunks.
After the game, Byron Leftwich shakes the cobwebs out after a seven-sack afternoon. "I never knew where they were coming from," he says. "Seems like two guys were coming free every time I dropped back to pass." That, friends, is the 2006 Dallas defense.
Peyton and Eli do not disappoint. But the real star of the show is a kid who got about six inches of press all week. Rookie Indy runner Joseph Addai comes off the bench in the third quarter and runs for the winning touchdown against the blitzing Giants with five minutes to go.
Yes, the Redskins can score. A little bit, at least. And just one touchdown drive doesn't quell the questions about whether Mark Brunell's the man for this offense, but it does send the faithful home sighing with a little relief.
One thing the Chargers can do is flatten the quarterback, with or without Steve Foley. They chase Aaron Brooks all night, and by the end, with six people on the East Coast watching because of the idiotic 10:15 p.m. ET starting time, Shawne Merriman clinches it with a strip-sack in the final minutes.